just me

Bestest New Year gift ever :)

2012-01-20T21:24:00.003+08:00

On the 2nd of January, Emma came to Singapore to surprise me :) it was indeed a very very lovely and wonderful surprise, best new year's gift ever :)

Her visit to Singapore this time round means a lot more too. It's definitely great to see her again after so long. Those 2 weeks have been amazing :) Besides that, her visit, in some sense, is also a healing point for me. She has managed to kick some sense into my silly mind and help me to 'wake up'.

I must admit, I have been selfish for the past few months since I've came back. I don't think I've been fair to the many others around me who are concern about me - my family and friends..

It's time that I really move forward now and stop wallowing in self-pity, and stop making others worried about me. I've been selfish enough for the longest time.

Thank you bestie, for giving me the kick in the butt that I needed, for daring to tell me things that not many people have dared to say to me but yet is what I needed to hear, for helping me to see things from a different perspective once again. I'm really glad that you came :) Really, thank you so much bestie - more than you know.

So, my 2012's resolutions are still pretty much the same - to be happy, to be thankful, to persevere on and also another add on, to cherish every moment :)

2011 Reflections

2011-12-31T02:31:00.006+08:00

2011 has been a year of many memorable 'first'..

First time going on a camp in perth - hse committee & tutors camp 2011. haa, it was a nice time, climbing walls, building rafts etc.. all the crazy things we do. gotta love these group of hse committee members and tutors :)

First time being part of a 'band' - the st.cats band for the Inter-college Battle of the Bands competition. First time performing on stage, really enjoying my time and having a great time playing music with the st.cats girls :)

First time going to a club - Flawless Club at Subi. Haha, pretty much just sat there and people watch with Emma for about 30 mins and then we decided to tell the others that we're going back to college. It was pretty funny to people watch actually :p haha.

First time tutoring some of the girls the chinese language - it was pretty interesting actually and fun too when explaining to the girls the meaning of the words and all that.

First time driving! - such an awesome feeling. I love that long windy stretch of road behind Dalkeith.. driving along the road by the beautiful scenery, love it! :))

First time being away from singapore for so long - 8 months odd..

First time being comfortable on my own.

First time realising what i want.

First time finding out how much perseverance i have.

First time realising how much i can actually hold on to something.

First time realising that my "limits" are not actually limits and that when i'm in desperation, i could actually be stretched beyond my 'comfort zone'.

First time walking along the streets to look for jobs, going into different companies and submitting my resume.

First time experiencing such a desperation that i can only look to God for help and for answers.

First time having such a painful heartache.

First time having such an enormous struggle in my life.

First time feeling lost in a familiar place.

First time realising and learning what it means to trust and obey (definitely not easy at all)..

What a year it has been indeed. A very very unforgettable year. A year that i dont think i can fully described what i've felt, experienced and been through... A very bittersweet year for me, but i still thank God for all the experiences i had, for the people whom i met, for lessons learnt, for things that i've come to realise and also...

I thank God for my bestfriend who could always tell how i feel or what i was thinking without me having to say much and for always being there for me. You have taught me many many things and i'll always keep your advices close to my heart. More importantly, you have taught me to be more confident of myself. Thank you, for you have shown me what a bestfriend really means. I also thank God for my family, for loving me. I know i've caused many heartaches, tears and worries.. and perhaps at the end of the day, we still may not see eye to eye about some things, but we are a family and i love you all very much. You all are always very important to me.

2011 is indeed a year that has made me learn, struggle and grow a lot. There are still things that i wished could have been different. But one thing that i've learnt from 2011 is that.. Change is constant. There are changes all the time, be it situations, things or people. I think the saddest of all changes would be people when they changed for the worse.. I've come to realise the importance of some people in my life, people who are worth holding onto.. and for some, i've come to see their true colors and it's time to let go because i'm sick and tired of being taken for granted. So i really want to thank God for the 'constants' in my life. Because no matter how circumstances change, some relationships will still remain the same.

What does 2012 have install for me? I do not know. I honestly do not know. What will i be doing? Where will i be? I have no answers. I am searching too. I'm still learning, still struggling, still trying.. I only know that i have to trust in God to guide. I have to.. because if i don't trust in Him, then i will be very very lost...

2012 resolutions? Simple. To be happy, to be thankful, to persevere on... Even though it is definitely easier said than done, but i'm not giving up...

2011-10-02T01:56:00.000+08:00

It's funny how much one can try to lie to oneself.. Sometimes, i would pretend that, the later i sleep, the later tomorrow will come...

1 week's gone, 1 week's left. To be honest, I think i'm sort of in denial to a certain extent. It feels unreal to me. But at the same time, i know what the reality is. I know i will be okay, it will all be okay eventually. It will be. It's amazing how much mind and will power one can have sometimes, especially at convincing yourself.

At the same time, i know i cannot avoid reality. I've tried to be strong and happy, because i want to make the best out of my last 2 weeks here. But the other day, i couldn't hold it in anymore and i had to go out for a walk along Mat's Bay.

Sitting on the grass patch, looking out at the Swan River, the sun was setting. I just remembered that i was trying to commit the scenery before me into my mind, so that i will not forget it, like how i was trying to commit every single moment i have left in Perth into my memory. And then, i finally let go of the strong front that i was putting on and cried.

I know that everything that happens is for the best, even if it is hard at that point in time. In everything that is seemingly bad, there's always something good that comes out of it.

I'm really going to miss everyone over here in Perth, especially my close friends who have become like family to me - Emma, Sandy and Weiying. They have been there for me through this whole thing. The night i told them of the decision, the 3 of them came to my room and cried with me. They cheered me up, they encouraged me, they comforted me, etc.. I really am going to miss them so much, especially so for Emma because she's my best mate. I know i will get to see Sandy, Weiying and the other Singaporean girls when they return back to Singapore. But for Emma, i really don't know when will be the next time that i'll see her again..

So, yeah, i've got 1 week left and i've got to make the best out of it..

2011-09-27T02:29:00.001+08:00

So, a decision has been made. Perhaps it is the best for now..

I will still hold on to this dream that i have. Perhaps now just isn't the right time. Who knows? But if an opportunity comes along again one day, i will grab at it with both of my hands and give it my best shot once again.

But for now, my heart, it hurts so much. I think it needs time to heal... Because it feels like a part of my heart has just died..

Reality vs Dream

2011-09-22T13:57:00.004+08:00

Reality.. It's something that we all have to accept. At times, reality can be good.. at times, it really sucks a whole lot.

Right now, i'm hovering between reality and dreams. Some people say "Wake up, stop dreaming. You've got to face reality." Some people say "Don't give up on your dreams. It is possible if you believe."

Which should i listen to then? Reality seem to be hitting me right smack in my face at full force. At the same time, i'm struggling a little bit to accept reality, half thinking that dreams are still possible, though it is proving to be highly difficult.

It's a struggle when you have responsibilities, duties and roles to fulfill on one side, and on the other side, you have this understanding and knowledge that your dreams are not impossible, but requires time.

I know there are many who are worried for me. Everyone wants what is best for me, everyone has their own good intentions. I am thankful for that, i really am. It breaks my heart to see that others are hurting too.

At this moment, i think i have come to a point that is in between reality and dream. Some may find it hard to understand and i do not know how else to explain it. And frankly speaking, i do not know what else to do anymore. I don't think anyone will be able to understand the kind of struggle. Literally, it's like the chinese saying "The palm of your hand is your flesh, so is the back of your hand. No matter which side is cut, it will still hurt."

I think i have finally learnt how to let go and let God, because i know that He knows what is best, i truly do. And it's the only thing that i can hold on to right now.

I don't know what people expect me to be. To be happy no matter what happens? I wished i could too.

But the truth is, no matter what turns out in the end - reality or dream, it's still going to hurt very, very much.

2011-09-07T02:21:00.002+08:00

Nobody said it would be easy... but no one said it would be this hard either. I'm not giving up just yet. I'm still going to give my best shot at going after what i really hope for.

Some may think it's really selfish of me in all sorts of ways. But honestly, I have done so much just to go after something that i really want to do. I have thought so much about it as well. Every single thing that was mentioned before, believe it or not, I really did think about it. Why can't I just be given the chance that i need, the time that i need? I'm not being unreasonable. I did give myself a timeline too, and I don't think it is an unreasonable timeline. I just need you all to believe in me, and allow me that timeline that I've mentioned initially and be given the chance to let me try it out.

Of course, i know, it is always said and done out of the best interests for me.. but then... is it really this time round?

If only you know and hear the cry from the depth of my heart every single day and night..

2011-09-05T01:59:00.001+08:00

I just need to be given the chance..

2011-08-30T01:09:00.003+08:00

Have you ever wanted or wished for something so badly before? So much so that even the slightest thought/idea that you may not be able to get what you wished for makes you feel so sick, as if someone has kicked you real hard in your stomach?

I have.

Trust and Obey

2011-08-23T23:40:00.002+08:00

I was reading the book - 'Have A Little Faith' by Mitch Albom.. and today i came across this sentence in the book ".. It is far more comforting to think God listened and said no, than to think that nobody's out there."

And i was just thinking, how true indeed.

Whatever decision God has planned for me, whatever His plans for me are.. even if, it might turned out to be a decision that i may not like.. It is comforting for me to know that God knows and has the best intentions for me, even if it will hurt quite a bit at that point in time..

Perhaps, because i know that in everything, i have to, and i want to, trust and obey my Creator/my Guidance/my Counselor.. for His plans are not to harm, but to prosper..

And perhaps it is also because i know, even if things don't turn out the way that i really really wished it would, knowing that God has the best plans for me, is the only way i know that will help me to overcome whatever disappointments and upsets that i might have..

So yeah, i'm going to give my best shot and put in my hardest effort in hope that i will be able to get what i wish for, but at the end of the day, it's all in God's hands... and at the end of the day, that's what i'm going to hold on to - His promise, His plans, His will.

It's only the beginning...

2011-06-27T00:20:00.003+08:00

So, my university life has thus come to an end. 2 years it has been. What a wonderful and amazing 2 years! No doubts there have been ups and downs, but i will definitely do it all over again. Words cannot describe what it feels like, the experiences i've been through, the lessons i've gained, how much i've learnt and changed, how much i've grown. Shall share more in time to come..

Well, 2 years of uni life has ended. But i think this is just the beginning. I'm excited and scared at the same time. Scared because of the uncertainties that lay before me, who knows what will the future hold for me.. But at the same time i'm excited because i see before me an opportunity and with each step, i know God is leading.

No one knows for sure which path i should take. I've seek opinions from others, prayed and asked God for guidance. Everyone tells me different things. And i think, it's about time that i stop trying to please everyone and all that. I'm tired of having to justify myself. I know what i am doing, don't doubt me on that. I've thought about it so often enough that it's making me go "crazy".

Honestly, in some ways, this is a journey that i will have to walk alone. People can give me advice and all that, but ultimately, i will have to walk alone on this road. I know that God will lead me in every step of the way. And i thank God for blessing me with friends around me, who can help me to see things objectively and put things into perspective in a way..

When i first came to Perth, this thought came into my mind - learning to be independent of man and dependent on God. In some ways, i've learnt this lesson in many ways during my 2 years here. And now, i think i'm ready to move on to the next step of "learning to be independent of man and dependent on God." Learning to grow, learning to become independent was never an easy task. But i think... i'm ready.

This is only the beginning of a whole new adventure.

I'm gonna move forward with faith.

mid-sem break

2011-04-28T14:43:00.002+08:00

It's the mid-semester break once again. It has been a pretty nice one so far, went down to Em's place with Kim for the weekend to see Em and just basically relax and chill. It was really nice, each time we're there, her parents just take such good care of us :)

Other than that, it's basically busy doing assignments and whatnots..

Sometimes, it feels like im living a dream. Til this point, i sometimes find it a little unbelievable that i am in Perth. And over the course of close to 2 years here, i think i've changed. I know i have. And in a way, change for the better too. The Esther that i was 2 years ago would probably not have imagined that I would come to Perth, experience so many different things that i know will stay with me for a lifetime.

In some ways, i have broken out of my comfort zone, i'm more daring and open now and i think, i'm beginning to become more assertive about the things that i want. Gone are the days when i do things according to other people's wishes, i've learnt to do things for my own too. I mean, i'm still pretty easy-going with most things, whatever that makes others happy, but when it comes to certain things, i think i have become more assertive..

I'm thankful, truly thankful to God, for the experiences He has given to me, the lessons He has taught me, and leading me to where i am today and guiding me into who i am today. Whatever it is, my tomorrow lies in His hands :)

2011-03-29T22:43:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, it would be nice to know that i am being appreciated.. and not just taken for granted..

Leaving it all unto God

2011-03-25T17:42:00.004+08:00

It's been a month since i last blogged. Life has been crazily busy in this short space of time. I've completed summer school, did my exam, had house committee and tutor camp and also the training week, and then it was orientation week for the freshers and before you know it, uni has started... And now, it's already the 4th week of uni. Where has all the time gone to??? But then again, busy and crazy as it may be, i say it has been rather fulfilling. I am doing what i enjoy, so even though sometimes it may be tiring, but it's worth it. The experience that i've gain from all these is priceless.

But aside from all these hustle and bustle, since the beginning of this year til now, i've been struggling with my plans about what i'm going to do after i graduate. Time and again i ask myself, what do i want to do, what is it that will make my heart be at ease? To be honest, i know the answer. I really do.

I often ask myself, if almost everyone else is saying something that is different from your own opinion, does that mean that you are wrong then? There are just so many different opinions, so many different people telling you different things, but all with a good intention... who do you listen to then? Sometimes, the voices of others are just so loud that it overpowers my inner voice.. and i strain to hear what God is telling me too.

This decision - whether to stay in Perth after i graduate and find a job here or to return back to Singapore, is one that i struggle with a lot. Perhaps to some, it may seem like a rather straightforward, simple decision. Some would say, go back to Singapore, find a job there, your family and friends are there. I did think about that before. Obviously, going back to Singapore is the easiest choice to make as i don't have to worry about finding a place to stay here, about my visa and all the many other processes that i have to do should i decide to stay in Perth for a few more years..

But when i ask myself, what do i truly want? I know that i want to stay in Perth a few more years. I want to experience even more. I feel like now is my chance, my opportunity. Now that i am here in Perth, why not just give it a go, get a job here and see what is it like..

Perhaps to some i may seem selfish. But trust me when i say that it really isn't that easy a decision that i've come to. I am not a person who makes decisions lightly. I do give quite a bit of thought whenever it comes to major decisions. I do weigh the pros and cons before making the final decision. In fact, i've been thinking about this matter for about a year now..

And to be honest, sometimes, it just irks me a little when people seem to assume that i do things without much thought, making it seem as if the things that i've decided to do is a mistake.. I know what i am doing, i know why i choose to do certain things.. No doubt, there are times when i may be wrong about my own decisions, but i do learn from it as well..

For my entire life so far, most of my decisions are often influenced by the people around me. Sometimes, i make certain decisions so that some people will be happy, because i know that, i am happy when others are happy. It is just that simple for me. But when it comes to things like this, i've come to realise, if i'm going to be pleasing others for the rest of my life, then it will be a rather difficult life wouldn't it? Perhaps, just this one time, i get to be selfish for awhile and decide what i want to do for myself and not for others..

I've thought about this, pondered over this, prayed about this, cried over this so many times. Sometimes, all i just want is someone to support me in this decision, to tell me that "It's okay, go ahead with what you want to do, i will support you, and even if this turns out to be a mistake, it is okay, you can always learn from your mistakes." And i do thank God that i do have a few friends who supports me in my decision. Thank God for them, for not imposing their own views on me, but rather questioning me at the right time to help me see things in many different perspectives. And, thank God that my parents are starting to see where i'm coming from. I know it isn't easy for them as well..

I have about 4 more months left to settle everything. I've no idea where God is going to lead me, but i am willing to take this "risk". Whatever the outcome maybe after i graduate - Perth or Singapore, it's all in God's hands.

God reigns over me, and i am glad.

2011-02-06T17:15:00.006+08:00

Today's church sermon is on the introduction of the book of Ecclesiastes. I think i've gain a reminder from today's sermon. A timely reminder too, considering that i am in the midst of making plans and preparations for whatever that might happen after i graduate in June...

Life is like a mist. You can't exactly own it or buy it. A second in life is there and then it's gone. You can't put a pause button on it and then press play again whenever you want or keep it in a bottle and take it out from time to time. So, life is like a mist, you can't possess life for it is a gift from God.

Every second of our life passes by really quickly. In a blink of an eye, we're 2 years old, talking and walking. In another blink of an eye, we're in primary school. Then, another blink, we're all 18 years old, going to uni and deciding the courses we want to do. Another blink, we're out there in the working world, another blink, we're probably deciding who we're going to marry, whether the person is The One, etc.. There are many moments in our lives as such, and all these moments in life, it comes and it goes.

But i guess what the Book of Ecclesiastes is trying to teach us is to learn to fear the Lord. As it says in Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." When we fear our Lord, i guess that's when we begin to live life wisely. I'm not saying we have to live in utter fear everyday. I guess what it means is that, when we acknowledge that God is the Lord of our life, that He is in control of our life, we'll learn how to live joyfully and cherish every single moments in our life and live it as if it is the last, because we can't keep a moment forever - it's like mist.. and also because we never know what will happen tomorrow.

Like what it says in James 4:13 "Now listen, you who say "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you don't even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." So we need to also learn to be less controlling of every aspect of our life. We can try and plan about everything, but ultimately everything is meaningless if it is not part of God's plan.

So yeah, what i learnt from today's sermon is to live in the present, cherish every moment that i have, with my friends, my family. And also, as much as i can plan and try to map out the possible routes for my future, at the end of the day, i will need to lay them all before the Lord and entrust them into His hands, for only He knows which route i should take. For in everything, i will need to seek the Lord first and the rest shall be given to me.

I hope it will be the same for all of you as well. Whichever stage in life you may be, whatever answers in life that you are seeking, whatever that you may be going through, etc.. It is a moment in life that will come and go. If you're going through a hard time, trust in the Lord, seek comfort in Him. The hard time will eventually pass and you'll emerge stronger than ever. If it is a good time that you're in now, cherish it for when the moment has passed, it is gone. In every moment of your life, trust in the Lord, give thanks to Him and give the reign of control over to Him. When we do that - give control of our life over to God, i think we'll all learn how to live more joyfully.

Happy Blessed Chinese New Year

2011-02-02T16:50:00.000+08:00

CNY is finally here. Today is the eve of chinese new year. Every year on the eve of cny, we'll all gather together at someone's house for our reunion dinner. It's such a joyous day. Though it is crazily busy, spring cleaning the house, buying th cny goodies, buying new clothes, preparing the food, etc.. but it is all a happy kind of busy.

I can just imagine what it'll be like at home now, since this year's reunion dinner is at my house. It must be a crazy time of preparation of food and all that, perhaps cny songs will be playing from our speakers and soon in about 2 hours time, all my relatives will start to arrive and all the lovely joyous time of reunion and fun begins :) And then for the next few days it will be a time of house visitationsssssssss. Literally, visitationssssss, cos there are just so many houses to go to, a little tiring to be honest, but it's nice :)

So this year is my first time spending cny away from home. But i guess it's okay. I just hope everyone will have a great cny this year, with lots of good food and good fun :)

Just gotta keep having faith

2011-01-24T10:29:00.003+08:00

2010 has been a great year. 2010 has its ups and downs and 2010 has certainly given me and taught me a lot.

I started out my 2010 with apprehension yet i had a little hope in me for a new start. I made a resolution that i wanted 2010 to be a year of thanksgiving, to learn to give thanks in all circumstances. Indeed, it has been a year that i would say is overflowing with thanksgiving in my heart.

In 2010, i' ve gained new friendships in Perth, which by God's grace and blessings, have become friendships that i know will last for a lifetime and these best friends of mine, they are like family to me now. And over in Singapore, although i am in Perth most of the time in the year, old friendships still remain strong.

I gained new perspectives too. 2010 has shown me what matters to me most. 2010 has taught me to become stronger, to be more confident about myself and to be more independent, yet knowing that there are times that i can allow myself to be vulnerable too.

As 2010 came to an end, i approached 2011 with that bit of apprehension in my heart. 2011 is a year which i find myself standing at crossroads as i make certain decisions about my future, which makes me scared because i have no idea what's it going to be like.

But as i look back at 2010, i am reminded of that assurance that no matter what happens, God will guide me through it. Whatever that happens, happens for a reason. My God knows the blueprint of my life, He knows my every thought and He listens to each of my prayers. He will grant me that confidence and courage that i lack.

So, in 2011, i want to seek God first in everything, in every decision and every step of the way. Even though i have no idea what 2011 will be like, even though as i stand at the crossroad, not knowing which road i should take, but i know that God knows and if i trust in Him and follow Him, it will all be good. Just gotta keep having faith.

"33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6: 33-34

2011-01-09T14:37:00.003+08:00

have i ever mentioned, how much i like my room in college? haha. weird i know. but seriously, as i sit on my chair at my table, looking out of the window, seeing the clear and pretty blue sky and the green trees... i like it. haha :)

i hope, next time, wherever i may be, i can have a room.. something like this :)

In times of quietness, God speaks to us most clearly..

2011-01-05T23:49:00.015+08:00

Quiet Times

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge n him" (Psalms 24:8).

Some of my favorite times are those quiet times when I feel myself engulfed by the warm love of God. His arms wrapped around me, holding me near to Him. He is truly a loving Father.

His love for us is never-ending. His grace is immeasurable. As His children, we should all know what it means to "taste and see that the Lord is good." This is often hard to do as we are so distracted by the cares of this life. But if we could just clear our minds and focus on God and His goodness, we might begin to understand this a little more each time we come to Him in those blessed quiet times.

Quiet Times

Quiet fills the house
as each have gone their separate ways
yet I am not afraid
within the quiet of this still embrace.
I bask in the warm hug
the emptiness provides,
and slip into the silence
to hide and seek alone.
A cup of coffee and my easy chair
prepare to add to this enchanting bliss.
I sink myself into them both,
a sweet kiss of morning love.
Revealing now in unchurned air
I move my hand as to beckon the letters
from the table drawer.
I open them and soon begin
to drink in every letter--every word.
Raising eyes briefly time to time
to query my aloneness in secure.
I feel enjoined within the hour
to my gracious God,
through love and letters,
within His living Word.

Quiet fills the house,
and all have gone their separate ways.
And I am loved
within the quiet of this lasting still embrace.

Today, take time to be with God. Tell Him you love Him. Tell Him what you love about Him. And lose yourself in His love. Be sure to clear your mind of all distractions. If you do not think that will be easy, ask God to help. You will not be disappointed. Just taste, and see that the Lord is good.

Day by Day Devotionals: www.daybyday.org

Sometimes, it's good to have some quietness.. like how it is for me now at the moment. I'm back in Perth, back in college. There aren't many people in college in the summer as not many of them are doing summer school, so there's only like 4 or 5 of us in the whole college. I found it a little difficult initially, with all the quietness after being used to college as a place where there are always many people around.. But after a few days, i think i am slowly starting to adjust to this quietness.

And it is good, this quietness. It gives me the space and the time to think through things and pray about them. and like what the devotional reading for today says.. "to take time to be with God" that is also very important. Sometimes, we get so carried away with all the hustle and bustle in life that we don't really set aside much time to spend it with God, i too am guilty of that.

Sometimes, it is during times of quietness that God speaks to us most clearly..

is this it?

2010-12-25T23:20:00.001+08:00

And perhaps, this is the conclusion...

As i said, i think i know the answer in my heart and my mind, and at the same time, i know what i want. But sadly, it seems like what i want and the outcome are different..

When dreams and reality are at war with each other... perhaps usually it's the reality that wins.. because the deciding power doesn't really lie in your hands...

Choices, Decisions, Dreams, Reality...

2010-12-21T18:00:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, i wish there was an easier solution, wish that things were easier, that i need not consider too many different factors and just make a decision. I wish that i don't have to always find myself standing at crossroads.. But then again, i guess if everything were that easy for me, if things need not any consideration, if i always had only one way to go, then i think i'll probably not end up where i am today.

I'll end up missing out on lots of stuff, and i won't be able to experience what life is like overseas, i may not get to know the people whom i've gotten to know over all these years..

Choices, decisions. They give you the freedom of choosing the next step, but at the same time, there are restrictions and many factors to consider. One decision leads to another, one step leads to the next and i can't say i'll just choose what i want and not care about what happens after.. Every decision made comes with consequences..

Sometimes, when your dreams and reality are at war with each other, what are you going to do? What's going to happen? Will you be happy with the outcome? I don't know to be honest...

I know eventually, something will work out in the end. I just don't know what yet. I think i have an answer in my heart and my mind. I think i know what i want.. But i don't know if what i want can become a reality..

I've got 2 more weeks to figure out this..

decisions, decisions decisions..

2010-12-01T00:23:00.003+08:00

I guess sometimes, when making certain decisions, one will need to make certain sacrifices.. And therein lies the question.. Are the sacrifices made worthwhile?

To be honest, i don't know. I would like to think that the sacrifices made, or the sacrifices that i am going to make, are worthwhile. But sometimes, we can never be too sure till we get to it... isn't it?

But then again, for now, at this point in time, i do think that it will be worthwhile... :)

surprise, surprise...

2010-11-25T01:34:00.001+08:00

i came back to a lovely surprise when i got back to Singapore. I am utterly surprised by my family and friends, for the belated 21st bday party that they had organised for me. I am quite touched by their efforts.

When i was looking at the powerpoint slideshow that they had prepared for me. Looking through my 21 years, from when i was a newborn baby to when i was in secondary school, poly, and now, in Perth.. there was only one thought in my mind - I am so blessed to have all these people in my life. My family, my church friends, my secondary school friends, my poly friends, and definitely my perth family and friends. I couldn't help but teared when i was watching the slideshow, cos i was really touched.. and at the same time, well, i have to admit, when i saw the photo of me and my perth family - Em, Jocelyn and Kim.. i do missed them quite a bit and wished they were here too.

When i was given that 2 minutes to say something. I really didn't know what to say. There's just too much to be thankful for and yet at the same time, words are not enough to express how i feel. All i could say was "Who i am today, how far i have come, 21 years of my life, it isn't because of who i am or what i've done. But it is because of each and everyone who matters in my life. And i am blessed, because i am given the privilege to be your friend.. and i am blessed, because i am given such a wonderful family, who believed in me, gave me such a good environment to grow up in, and for giving me the chance to go overseas to study.. "

I truly am touched by their gesture and efforts. It was good to see everyone again..

and it made me feel really torn apart... What do u do when on both sides of the world (okay, not really at both sides.. since technically speaking, perth is just a little bit downwards on the map from singapore), there are people who mean a lot to you? That no matter where you are, you'll always miss them.. *sigh*

It's amazing how God has given me the chance to know these people in my life, and those especially close ones whom have made such an impact on my life and make my life pretty much complete.. They are the ones whom i will cherish for life, no matter where i am.

leaving home for home...

2010-11-23T13:53:00.000+08:00

Leaving Perth to go back to Singapore.. it feels very much like im leaving my home, for home. Yes, Perth is very much a place i call home now too. Not so much the place that makes it feel like home, but it's because of the people, my friends, or rather i should say, my family here in Perth that makes Perth feels just like home.

I remember, when i first came here, whenever people ask me "where are you going now?" i will never say "i'm going home." i would usually say "oh, i'm going back to my apartment." or even when i first came to college at the beginning of this year, i would say "oh, i'm going back to college." but then, after getting to know my amazing group of friends, i've started to say "i'm going home now."

there so much of a mixed feeling inside, not that i would expect most people to understand. i guess only a few would be able to understand what i mean by mixed feelings. Going back to Singapore, in a way, is something that i do look forward to abit, but as much as i am looking forward to seeing my family and friends in Singapore again, i really do miss my family in Perth - my close friends.

It just feels so weird... from being able to see the 3 of them everyday - Emma, Jocelyn and Kim, having our meals together, going out to have fun, having late night chats, studying together, our cluedo sessions, our movie nights in college, etc etc.. there's just so much stuff that we do together throughout this semester.. and then to the sudden change of not being able to see them everyday, not being able to just go up one flight of stairs to find Jocelyn or Kim or to go across the building to find Emma, or being able to just call/msg them whenever... or like whenever one of us is in need, we can't just go to their room within 3 mins to find them.. and there's just so much more..

I know Emma, Jocelyn and Kim will be able to understand what i am talking about.. there's just so much about Perth that i miss.. No doubt, definitely there are things and people in Singapore that i miss too.

it's just a kind of mixed feelings.. but well, 1.5 mths and then im back to Perth again. I shall enjoy my time back home.. and make the best out of it.. Time for meet-ups and catch-ups with everyone.

blessed

2010-11-04T00:40:00.002+08:00

Soon, it's going to be the end of the semester. How fast time flies.. it's unbelivable that i've already been in Perth for almost 1.5 years. Thinking back, so much have changed - my thoughts, perspectives, etc. I remember my mum telling me before i left for Perth in July last year. She said that coming to Perth would be a turning point in my life. Indeed, it has been. Coming to Perth has opened up my eyes in so many ways and taught me many many lessons.

When i first came to Perth, i only had one goal in mind - study and graduate with my commerce degree and then return to Singapore to work. That's it. I never thought more about it. But now, my mindset has changed completely. Of this 1.5 years so far, what i've gained is so much more than just a degree. The life experiences, the different challenges that i've went through, learning how to be independent when you're far away from home, how to make the best out of whatever situation i may be in, stepping out of my comfort zone, getting to know different people, making friends that i know will last for life. There's just so much that i've gotten out of this whole "overseas study experience".

I am thankful, utterly thankful, for having the opportunity to come to Perth to study, and for having to the opportunity to be in St.Cats. This year has been amazing. Coming into St.Cats is probably the best thing ever that has happened to me in this 1.5 years. The different experiences that i've gained, the different events i've attended, the different people that i've met, and those special few close friends who have now become my family in Perth.

Just the other day, one of the girls in college was reading my palms (not that i believe in palm reading.. but for the fun of it.. why not?) and she said that i'm a blessed person. There was one thing that she said that stayed in my mind til now. She said "You're blessed, though in life, you may meet with difficulties, but you always make it through somehow, either because you have the strength in you to push yourself through, or you've got a strong support system."

This, i do agree with her. I do know i'm blessed. God has blessed me so much indeed. Wherever i may be, whatever circumstances i may face in life, i know that somehow, whether the circumstance is good or bad, God will bring me through. And God always places some "angels in disguise" in my life to help me through it.

When i meet with difficulties, rather than thinking that i have the strength in me to push myself through, i actually think it is more so because i have a strong support system in my life - my family and friends. To be honest, who i am today, how i've come thus far, it is because of them. Even when i'm in Perth, God has given me a family here too, my family of close friends and i wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. They can turn my bad day into a good one. They are always there whenever, in good times, bad times, happy times, sad times, etc.. and you don't have to have a reason too, they are just there. There really is nothing more that i can ask for. And i really do hope that God blesses this friendship of ours, that it will be one that last, no matter where the 4 of us may be, Perth, Singapore or wherever.

I really do think i'm blessed, very much so. I don't mean that my life is all smooth-sailing. But as much as i am a worrier (yes, i do tend to worry quite a bit and i do tend to think too much at times...), i know that in every situation, in every thing that happens, there is a reason behind it and it is always for the good. For example, before coming to Perth, i thought that maybe it is a bad thing for me to be coming to Perth, somewhere that feels like it's so far away from home. But then, if i never did make that decision to come to Perth, and if i didn't decide to stick to it, then i wouldn't have gotten to know my amazing friends here. As what one of my friends back home said "If going to Perth was a wrong decision, then God wouldn't have let you go to Perth in the first place." And yup, i'm glad i didnt give up halfway :)

I feel that i sound like a broken recorder or something.. But truly, coming to Perth, being able to experience all these and getting to know some of my close friends here is one of the best thing that has happened in my life.

blessed & thankful 21st

2010-10-07T03:20:00.002+08:00

There are people who ask me, how's it like turning 21? And i find myself wondering what to reply. I wouldn't say i am exceptionally excited.. If anything, there is only one word that comes to my mind - Thankful.

I am indeed very thankful. I don't even know where or how should i go about saying this. Of this 21 years of my life, how i have come thus far, who i am today.. It obviously isn't just because of me. It isn't because of what i've done.. but more so, because of the people that God has placed in my life in these 21 years and all the things, good or bad, happy or sad, that i've been through.. indeed, all these have shaped me into who i am today..

Especially thankful for the precious few people in my life. Besides my family, i have this wonderful group of friends, whom i will definitely treasure and keep them close and dear to my heart. I really have no words to describe how thankful i am to have friends like them. There really is nothing more that i can ask for. really. They are the best group of friends i can ever have. And some of them, i am especially especially thankful for, cos i don't think i will ever have another friend who knows me that well..

And, this day. The girls - Emma, Jocelyn and Kim. They are just so so lovely. The things they do, though it may seem simple and normal in the eyes of others, but to me, it means a lot. The lovely surprise, the dinner, the gift, the cards and more importantly, their presence and company, it just touches my heart so much. I am blessed, very blessed.

I know i have mentioned this a million times. But this friendship that the 4 of us have, what a gift it is from God. It truly is. This friendship isn't one that is coincidental. It is part of God's plan. The 4 of us are so different, yet in some ways, similar too.. and we are the best of friends today. They truly are special, they are family and I'm glad that they are part of my life :)

country love..

2010-09-25T16:58:00.003+08:00

i have this sudden urge to go to somewhere... to surround myself with nature and animals, and maybe just a few people. to lie in the sun, enjoy the warmth of the sunlight on my face, listening to the sounds of nature.. play with the animals, have a nice cup of tea with some friends and family... and all that...

i think i've been watching a little too much of Mcleod's Daughters. haha. It's an awesome show, made me laugh and cry quite a bit... and it feels quite realistic to me..

but i do remember that feeling i had when i was at the farm last semester.. waking up and looking out into that open space, the greenery, the nature, the animals, just being in that surrounding.. it makes me feel.. at ease, relaxed, peaceful and happy..

i think... maybe, just maybe, there is a bit of country girl in me ;)

That's what friends are for.

2010-09-07T23:45:00.003+08:00

I know i've probably posted about this topic thousands of times. But i feel like, today, i need to mention it once again, that i'm so thankful for my best friends here in Perth. They know me quite well. I do believe that God knows me best and He has placed a few of His 'angels in disguise' in my life.

It's amazing how the 4 of us are from such different backgrounds, how we have all decided to come to st. cats, and if it was not for that crazy hailstorm, we probably would not have turn out the way we are today. Looking back, though that hailstorm was a pretty devastating one, but something really great came out of it - the friendship among the 4 of us. It is like the 'rainbow' after the storm (literally THE storm. haa)

And i'm just so thankful and feel so blessed that the 4 of us have managed to become such great and close friends, genuine friends that i have come to trust and love.

As i've told them, i always feel much happier when i'm around them cos they just somehow seem to be able to cheer me up. Even if i'm having a bad day, i know i have someone i can turn to, and sometimes, i need not even mention anything, one of them will be able to know what's going on with me.

I truly thank God for them. I do believe that the 3 of them will be my friends for life :)

Listening... with your heart.

2010-09-02T17:16:00.003+08:00

As i was studying for my sales management test, i came across this line in my lecture notes. "Being able to conduct an efficient and effective sales interview requires communication skills. This means being able to plan, listen and ask pointed and meaningful questions. Among these three skills, the most important is listening skills. The sales person should first and foremost be a good listener."

Not that i'm saying we're all sales people or whatnot... But one thing that kind of stood out to me was.. In communication, the most important thing is listening. Maybe for some people, communication means being able to get your message across to the other person clearly and accurately, such that the person is able to understand what you are trying to convey. But i guess, sometimes, we often forget, that in communication, be it between 2 people or more.. the more important thing is actually listening. And by listening, i do not mean hearing. Hearing, to me, is just literally hearing what the person is saying. Listening means, hearing but understanding with your heart.

How often do we give others the chance to share with us what they are trying to convey, without us being judgmental or being a little assuming about certain things? How often do we enter into a conversation with someone, with the pre-notion of us trying to give different advices to them, with the idea of us being able to 'help' them? Sometimes, i guess, what a person wants is just someone who is willing to just listen. Not that i mean that we have to be like a motionless wall, no reaction, no emotion, etc.. We can still share with them what we think too, giving advices appropriately. But i guess what's most important is actually listening to what the person is really trying to say.

Sometimes "i'm okay" does not really mean "i'm okay"... I always feel that everyone needs someone who is willing to take the time to listen to them. Sometimes, it's the people who appears to be the strongest who really needs someone who is willing to listen and care.. Sometimes, a simple "Hey, how are you?" or just a simple act of giving someone a bit of your time to listen can actually make a whole lot of difference..

rainy days...

2010-08-31T15:12:00.001+08:00

there's just something about rainy days that make me feel a little melancholic. just sitting here at my table, looking out of my window, looking at the raindrops falling..

i like moments like this..

just a quiet moment, amidst all the busyness, amidst all the hustle and bustle..

Genuine Friendship

2010-08-28T11:30:00.004+08:00

I happened to chance upon this little note on facebook that was written by one of my facebook friends. This is just a excerpt from the note..

The Meaning of Friendship

When we talk about the meaning of friendship, some questions would come to our mind; How do we define friendship? Can a relationship be measured? How do we distinguish the level of relationship we have with different friends?

To me, a friendship is more than just of group of people sharing a common goal or interest in life. It is also more than just a group of people working/studying in the same place/organisation for a certain period of their time in life. A genuine friendship consists of a group of people sharing common principles and values in life. They are able to relate to one another in their deepest thoughts without any feelings of being judged upon because of their common values. They can share their thoughts freely because a common platform of understanding is established. Their genuine concern for one another can be felt upon without any use of words. Although we need friends in life, friendship should also never be seen as a means of eradicating loneliness. The basis of their friendship is not a "plus and minus equation"; it is not measured upon how beneficial/useful this person can be to the other party.

A genuine friendship takes into account the weakness and strength of an individual and accepting who he/she is. When we speak of accepting the person for who he/she is, we should be mindful that speaking the truth even when it hurts is part of showing genuine concern. Speaking the truth is not just about expressing how one party feels towards the other party's action. It comprises of sharing the reasons behind their feelings and actions and then aligning them with the common values and principles established. Most importantly, the basis of their discussion is built upon the trust and integrity of each parties. In fact, when we initiate measures to distrust or corrupt the integrity of the other parties, it only reveals the way we built upon this friendship with the other party.

When we seek to establish a genuine friendship with another party, we should bear in mind that a true test of friendship is one that endures through sufferings. As George Washington says. "True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."

While reading this part of the note, i found myself nodding in agreement.. This is what i feel about friendships too. That as friends, and i mean, true friends, genuine ones, will be able to relate to one another in their deepest thoughts without the feelings of being judged upon..

Friendship and family are equally important to me. Family aside, the support that i get from my group of close friends is something that i cannot do without. Looking at the different friendships that i have with different people over these 20 years of my life... i've come to realise that as i grew older, i've become slightly clearer of myself and the friends that i have.

As i've quoted in one of my previous posts before "The depth of a friendship does not depend on the length of acquaintance." It's true. very true to me. It doesn't matter how long i've known my close friends.. speaking of which, i've come to notice one sort of a similarity among all of them. My group of close friends, to say the truth, i have not known them for long at all. Half a year, 4 years, 8 years.. and I always thought that best friends are friends who know each other for many many years. Seems like i'm pretty wrong about that.

I've heard this quote somewhere before.. "It is easy to find someone to share your joy with, but to find someone to share your sorrows with, it isn't easy." and like that quote in the note above, "a true test of friendship is one that endures through sufferings." How true indeed. I'm someone who usually wouldn't voice out my feelings when i'm upset, but some of my close friends, they just seemed to be so in tune with me. I can't hide anything from them, they just know when something is wrong.

I truly thank God for placing my group of close friends in my life, cos' i really don't know what i will do without them. It doesn't matter where i am, whether i am in Singapore or in Perth. God has placed my best and close friends in these 2 places...

I'm blessed, truly am.

Don't wait til tomorrow... for it can be too late..

2010-08-26T11:44:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow Can Be Too Late

If you’re mad with someone and nobody’s there to fix the situation…
You fix it.
Maybe that person still wants to be your friend.
‘Cos if you don’t fix it today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you love somebody but that person doesn’t know…
Tell her/him.
Maybe that person is also in love with you.
‘Cos if you don’t tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you still love a person that you think has forgotten about you…
Tell her/him.
Maybe that person has always loved you.
‘Cos if you don’t tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug from a friend…
Ask her/him for it.
Maybe they need it more than you do.
‘Cos if you don’t ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you have friends whom you really appreciate…
Tell them.
Maybe they appreciate you as well.
‘Cos if you don’t, and they leave or go somewhere far away today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them…
Do it.
Maybe they’re yearning to feel the warmth of your love too.
‘Cos if you don’t, and they leave today,
Then tomorrow can be too late.

right vs. wrong ... and that little bit of gray..

2010-08-03T09:50:00.002+08:00

Today, during Sales Management lecture, the topic was on Building Trust and Sales Ethics. It got me thinking for awhile.. Ethics, Morals and Society's expectations.. What is right or wrong? And then you have the 'in-between' .. the gray area..

Ethics is what the society deems as right and wrong, while morals is what YOU deem as right and wrong. But sometimes, there is this gray area whereby, you wonder if what you are doing is right or wrong. My lecturer was describing about some of his past sales experience in different countries. Because of the different cultures, the way a sales transaction is done between a seller and a buyer (organisation, institute, etc..) is different. Often, drinking comes into the picture, like what we see on the television when a sales person tries to make a deal with a company, and then they'll go to a pub or somewhere for a drink, etc... And also about how some sales people use underhand means to make a deal.. How some practices which is considered illegal in certain countries may be considered legal in other countries, etc.. And also the dilemmas that we may face next time.

My lecturer asked a question, "At the end of the day, what would you do?" It really boils down to your own choice and decision i guess, and to know what is right or wrong morally and ethically and to stand by firmly to them. And i guess another thing that comes into play is your own principles. I feel that in the modern society today, it can be a challenge to stand and remain firm about your own morals, ethics and principles, because sometimes, under pressure and being in the 'rat-race culture' .. it can be easy to lose oneself to the world.

Today's lecture has kind of made me reflect... I pray and hope that, in the future, when im out there in the working society, in face of pressure and circumstances, i can remain level-headed and firm about what i believe in, firm about my morals, principles and values.

dream vs. reality

2010-08-02T17:01:00.002+08:00

It's been about a week since i returned to Perth. and what a week it has been!

On saturday, 24th, was supposed to be flying back to Perth with Carmen. but it turns out that she was really sick, down with food poisoning and all that, thus she was unable to come.. was a little sad and lost. and when i had to say goodbye to my family at the airport, i couldn't help but cried a little as i hugged them goodbye. as my mum says, it's seperation anxiety.. which i believed so too. all was good when i reached Perth and saw Emma and Jocelyn again. It's so nice to be able to see them again after so long (though i did meet up with jocelyn a few times back in Singapore la..) but yes, to see familiar faces amongst the sea of unfamiliar ones just helps to cure that homesickness in me.

Was pretty tired by the time we got back to college. Em and Jocelyn helped me made the bed and then soon enough, i was asleep.. on sunday late afternoon, i got a text from Carmen saying that she bought another ticket and she's coming to Perth on Monday afternoon! It's just crazy, but i'm glad that she managed to come in the end.

So the whole week, we went to a few places with some of my friends, bought loads of stuff. Basically, just showing and letting her experience the kind of life that i live here. Cos as i always said, what i can describe about the kind of life that i live here.. the friends that i have, the college life, uni, etc.. words are just limited, you have to experience it yourself. So i guess Carmen could now understand how i feel about Perth, the amazing friends that i have here and the life that i live here.

Carmen went back to Singapore on saturday night. was a little lost for a moment, but at the same time, i was okay too. As Jocelyn said, "a friend from your comfort zone back in Singapore comes to visit you in Perth, now that she has left, there is the sense of 'cant bear for her to leave' but at the same time, you have friends here in Perth in your own comfort zone too.. " which is pretty true actually. As i mentioned last time, Perth is no longer a place that is foreign to me anymore. I have great friends here, who makes me feel like Perth is another home, away from my home back in Singapore.

Sunday night, we went to watch Inception. Such an awesome movie! For a moment, the question popped into my mind. Dreams vs Reality. Which one is real? In the sense that, the dreams that we all have.. our ambitions for our future, etc.. it can be real, can't it? If we know what we want, we work hard for it, towards it. So then, our dreams, can one day be our reality too, right?

And that brings to my mind about my near future and the present... I'm here now, in Perth, UWA, studying a Bachelor of Commerce degree. I know why i am studying business for, i know why i do the majors that i am doing now. I hope i don't lose sight of my initial reason of studying business. And whether dream becomes reality in the end, it depends on how hard i'm going to work for it i guess, and whether it is in God's plan for me.

Friendship

2010-07-19T21:14:00.003+08:00

" My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life."
-- Lee Iacocca

Well, then i guess, at this point in time of my life, i do have a pretty great life, cos i do have this group of friends, true friends, whom i know i can count on anytime. It really doesn't matter where i am, whether i'm in Singapore or Perth or whether my friends are in Singapore or in Perth. It doesn't matter how physically far we are, neither does it matter how long i've come to know them. Whether it may be 8 years, 4 years or even 4 months.. as the saying goes "the depth of a friendship does not depend on the length of acquaintance."

Friendship, it is such an amazing thing isn't it? There are many people in our life. Some who stay, some who leave, some who will come back after awhile.. And, some of them.. They just make a difference in my life in their own ways. They are the ones whom i can count on, the ones who will always be there.

Funny how i find myself always missing my friends, no matter where i am. When i'm in Perth, i miss my friends back home. When i'm in Singapore, i miss my friends back in Perth. Ahh.. all these 'missing' business...

I truly thank God for these friends.

Now that i'm about to return to Perth pretty soon. It's time to say 'see you again at the end of year'... I guess, no matter how many times i've said it, goodbyes/see-you-agains are never an easy thing to say. It just doesn't get better with practice.. But then again, i take comfort in that i will see them all again at the end of the year... And also, i'll get to see my friends that i miss back in Perth again :)

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
-- Elisabeth Foley

2010-07-16T13:21:00.004+08:00

After looking up the units for Management major, Entrepreneurship major and Marketing major and arranging the units for my remaining 2 semesters, things don't look as complicated as i thought it would be anymore. Seems like, i can do all 3 majors in the end and need not give up any of my current majors.

My heart is at ease now. And im thankful that there are some friends who listened to me rant about my frustration about this whole.. majors/honours-in-marketing thing.. It certainly does help when there is someone there to listen :)

On another note, it's just another 8 more days til i return to Perth. Ahh... bittersweet, bittersweet. So much to look forward to in Perth, im really excited to return, to see my dear friends once again cos i really do miss them a lot. Yet at the same time, i can't bear to say 'see you soon' to my family and friends back home... My june holiday has been really enjoyable. I think i've spent my holiday in the way that i like best - catching up, meeting up, just simply spending time with people who matters to me a lot :)

So, one more week, gotta make the best out of it before i head back to Perth once again :)

frustratingggggggggggggggggggg

2010-07-10T12:04:00.003+08:00

It's exactly 2 more weeks and i'll be back in Perth. But before that, there is just SO many things to settle. (or at least it feels like it is in my opinion)

Okay. So i want to add a marketing major to the current majors that i'm doing ( management major and entrepreneurship major), cos this will affect whether i can do my honours in marketing. So, i have to go and figure out how i'm going to do that.

1. I 'exchange' one of my current majors for a marketing major. Which means, i sacrifice one major for marketing major.. Which means, some of the units that i have been studying in the past 2 semesters.. are, technically speaking, "of no use".. Argh, confusing i know, it's hard to explain..

OR

2. Somehow fit this 3rd major - marketing major into my degree. Sounds like the easier plan right? But it isn't really. Cos i only have 2 more semesters left, so, it can be a little difficult to fit a 3rd major in.. That, i have to go check it out too..

At the same time, i need to try and ask for units exemption for some of the marketing major units cos i have already done some of the units before in Singapore during my polytechnic studies... and this can only be done when i go back to Perth....

And all these is because, i'm hoping to do honours in marketing.. Which means i have to do a marketing major. And i only just realised this yesterday night. So silly of me, i know. I know i should have checked all these out way before, like right at the beginning.

I wished i have done all these preparation before i started my uni studies. Like figuring out properly what majors i want to do, how to arrange the units, what i must fulfill to do my honours in marketing.. But then, probably at that time, i have yet to see that far.. Probably didn't think of doing honours yet at that time.

But anyway, yes, this is making me feel so.. argh. I wish i didn't have to think about all these. But then again, no use thinking about all the "if only i've done this and that.. " I just have to get all these sorted out BEFORE i do my OLCR timetabling (which is due on the 22nd of July).. cos i might have to re-enrol some units..

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :(

amazing semester :)

2010-06-28T09:15:00.001+08:00

Time truly flies when you're having a great time with great company of friends.

Since may till now, it has just been busy busy busy. Lots of assignments and presentations to do. But in between the mountain of assignments, there is always time for some fun. I just love having a meal with a good company of friends, that's the best way to chill out and enjoy :)

Exams was a crazy period of time. Just studying, studying and more studying. There were times when it just got a little too stressful.. but thank God for friends who will always be there at anytime. And i really like the study group for this exam period. We have our serious moments and funny moments too. Love the study quotes that we had. Hilarious much! And our '1, 2, 3, go!' oh and our back cracks and massages too :)

The night at emma's sister's place with Emma, Kim and Jocelyn was just simply awesome. Cooking a delicious feast and enjoying the company of good friends, what nice way to unwind after exams. And then sleeping in all the way til 12plus, having a nice swim. Oh and did i mention the amazing view from the house, looking out to the beach :)

Then it was the Halls Creek 'adventure' - PAALS program. It was a nice time up there in Halls Creek, getting to spend the time with the girls, helping out in the classes, visiting the different agencies, getting to know the place and the people. I've learnt and gain so much insight. Seeing how some of the girls, who came down in april to college, have changed for the better is rather heartwarming. I can see so much potential in them, as long as they are steered in the right direction.

As i mentioned before, time passes way too fast when you're having a great time with a great company of friends. In a blink of an eye, 4 months have passed, and i would say, what an amazing 4 months it has been. This semester has just been fantastic. Best thing that happened to me was getting to know some really special friends here in St.cats. They have made my life in Perth so much more enjoyable and memorable. I truly cherish this bond of friendship that we have. These girls, they're like my family that i have in Perth, being there for one another, through the stress, tears, joy, laughters.. everything. I truly do miss them.. It feels weird not seeing them everyday now after seeing them every single day for the past 4 months. But then again, i will see them soon in a month's time and there's just so much to look forward to for the next semester :)

In the mean time, im excited to meet up with friends back home in singapore too. So much catching up to do! and CARMEN POON, when you come back, we can start planning for our 'adventure'! :D excitedddddd!!

awesome april

2010-05-05T14:15:00.004+08:00

it's been awhile since i last blogged, which is about 1 month ago.. life has been relatively awesome on the whole :D just a few things that happened throughout the month..

- the thursday night before our mid-sem break starts.. we had such a unforgettable time in the lounge, singing, dancing, laughing with the usual few (: definitely memorable & hilarious! what a way to just relax and have fun before we start our crazy week of studying/assignments/projects/etc..

- all the late night chats and studying sessions together in the lounge with my lovelies (: oh what fun we had! hahaha! thank God for friends to bring you through those late nights, they're better than coffee or red bull..

- moving back into my room after living in the lounge for 1 month. that 1 month in the lounge was such an awesome time. kinda bittersweet that we had to move back. but it is nice to be back in our own rooms. im so loving my room now. love the new floor that we have. makes the room look much brighter and somehow, make our room look magically bigger too. haa.

- love how close most of us prescottians plus a few others have become. always stopping by somewhere along the staircase to chat, or going to each other's room to just hang out :)

- watching a movie with my lovelies and crying our eyes out together.. i guess that's what happens when you are stressed + tired + a little homesick.. but thank God for my lovelies, everything is always better with them around :)

- the multicultural event. hahaha. preparation for it was kinda fun. well, preparing the pinata at least. first time making a pinata, and boy, did we get messy when emma smeared flour + water on me and jocelyn.. and thus begins our mini flour war.. haha. let's just say we became really dirty with flour and paint all over ourselves at the end... and then emma thought that i should be sprayed on with the water hose.. hahaha :D oh, and when we had to paint the cactus pinata, me and emma got a little too "excited" with the paint and we ended up with green paint all over our arms, legs and face ;P and during the multicultural night, what an awesome night it is! it was a little tiring to prepare everything and then cleaning up after the whole event. but it was worth it (:

- Em's 21st! unforgettable. her farm is just so breathtaking. i've fallen in love with her home. the whole nature thing.. and at night, when you look up into the sky and see the million of stars shining brightly. i'm pretty sure i've not seen a sky like that before in my life.. it was just so beautiful that only one thought was on my mind 'How great is our God! His creations are just so awesome!' and her party was just fantastic. we had so so so much fun singing and, haha, attempting to dance... mostly just a big group of us being silly ;) it was pretty cold during the night. i had on my wool jacket, long pants, 2 blankets, but i was still kind of cold. in the end, we woke up at 5+am and decided to head out of the shed and to just sit by the fire and look at the sunrise. beautiful morning. her parents made breakfast for us. it was yummmy :) and then we went to walk around her farm, fed the donkey and sheeps, cows, etc.. and her dogs - pickles, butch and jessie, sooo adorable! :D seriously, i feel so relaxed and comfortable at Em's place that i just didnt want to go back to college, back to reality.. me and jocelyn will definitely go back to em's place one day again. and yes, our roadtrip to em's place. hahaha. i would say we turned out to be pretty alright. managed to reach there earlier than we thought.. love it how we went "bull! bull! bull!" when we saw the bull statue that was supposed to be one of our landmarks. but yes, we managed to arrive at Em's safely and back to college safely too :) so, yeah. i had one of the best weekends ever at a reallllly beautiful and breathtaking farm and had a super fantastic time with my awesome group of friends :)

time flies when you're enjoying every minute of it :) thank God for awesome friends!

fun & laughters (:

2010-04-01T11:21:00.003+08:00

it is april fools' day today.. ytd night (or early morning today at 2+am i shld say) was really hilarious. me and anna planned to do a prank on emma. we wanted to hang a toy skeleton outside her door. but obviously, we kinda fail. cos we were laughing.. and the leg of the skeleton kept tapping on her door. who would have known that she was still awake at this hour? haha. had a great laugh though, almost couldn't breathe properly ;p the things we do at 2+am in the morning! that's april fool's day for you. 1st prank of the day. hahaha! wonder what else is to come ;D

anyway, life in college so far has been really great. though there was the hailstorm that came and destroyed our rooms in Prescott. but i guess, in a way, it was a blessing in disguise. no doubt that the damages it did to our college, other colleges and uni were kind of really terrible.. but many good things resulted because of the hailstorm. the group of us 'homeless' residents (me, anna, jocelyn, benedikte and mumtash) became much more bonded through this whole crazy incident. esp. the 4 of us who are living in the lounge at the moment (me, anna, jocelyn and benedikte). currently, the lounge is a really nice place for all of us. it's kinda big, so we partitioned it into 5 parts, one for each of us and the 5th partition is a bigger one for another 2 girls to stay in - anna bai and sally.

we are having a great time studying together and just talking, laughing and having fun (: and then we have emma and a few of the other girls coming in to join the fun too. hahaha :D it feels rather cosy and home-ly in the lounge right now. i guess i can't ask for anything more. this is the best plan so far for our temporary accomodation. definitely beats the idea of having to move to some hotel/motel all the way in west perth. we rather remain in college, which ever part of college it may be. and we have emma to thank for our current 'home' in the lounge, cos she is the one who suggested this idea to fiona and katie. so now, the 'homeless' residents are all happy girls (: and also thanks to fiona and katie cos the both of them did so much to help us - getting the partitions, setting it up, settling everything for us when they're so busy, etc..

through this incident, it's really heartwarming to see the spirit of unity among most of the prescottians and other residents too. like lisa, laura and emma who are so willing to lend us a helping hand (: so, although this hailstorm thing is terrible and caused so much chaos, it is really indeed a blessing in disguise. and i know im not the only one who thinks so, cos most of us are saying the same thing too (:

now, the mid-sem study break is here.. a time for me to do all my assignments, projects, study for a mid-sem test and at the same time, have a little bit of rest and fun (:

have a gd easter everyone ♥

one month in perth..

2010-03-19T00:30:00.004+08:00

It's exactly a month that i've been in Perth already. Life so far has been good. I'm really enjoying my time living in college, getting to know a group of wonderful friends, had my fair share of fun and studying at the same time (:

There are many things to be thankful for. Looking back at the one month, i can see, feel and experience God's grace and amazingness, through the things that happen, through the people around me (and by that, i dnt only mean the people physically around me.. those back in singapore count too).. i think words can't express how i feel exactly.

By saying all these, it does not mean that my life here is all smooth, good and fine. There are a few bumps along the way too.. but that's how we grow and learn.

1 mth gone.. 3 more mths till home.

To spend each day with thanksgiving

2010-03-01T16:41:00.006+08:00

今年，我唯一个resolution是，要以感恩的心过每一天。

神的恩典真的够我们用。虽然有时候会觉得累，伤心，害怕，无奈，等等不开心的心情。但是，我想，只要我们能够定睛仰望，依靠着神，在我们的每一天里，都一定有一样事情是值得向神感恩的吧。

当我们能够以感恩的心过每一天时，回顾的时候，所看到的，都是神无限的恩典 (:

I like this song. It's another great reminder for me besides the song "使我做你和平之子"

《数算主恩歌》

有时遇见苦难如同大波浪
有时忧愁丧胆几乎要绝望
若把主的恩典从头数一数
必能叫你惊讶立时乐欢呼

有时挂念世事如同挑重担
有时背着十架觉得苦难堪
若数主的恩典疑惑即消除
必能叫你快乐立时赞美主

每逢遭遇争战不论大或小
不要丧胆因主早已得胜了
深知主有恩典必甘愿扶助
安慰引导我们一直见天父

主的恩典样样都要数
主的恩典都要记清楚
主的恩典样样都要数
必能叫你惊讶立时乐欢呼

so far, these are some of the things that im thankful to God for as i list them down each day..

1. thank You God for granting me peace in my heart when i reached perth. This peace is from You, Lord.
2. thank You God for calming me down when i was starting to panick abt packing my stuffs.
3. thank You God for solving my bed problem for me, that uncle Keith (my dad's friend) bought the bed in the end and i need not throw away a good bed!
4. thank You God for uncle mingzhong, for helping me move my stuffs to St. Cats.
5. thank You God for letting me move into St. Cats smoothly.
6. thank You God for letting me make new friends here. The girls are really nice and friendly.
7. thank You God for happiness. I'm really happy with my life in college now.
8. thank You God for letting me meet aarky, this girl that i got to know during advertising & promotions lecture. She's another sister-in-christ and we really got quite a few things in common (:
9. thank You God for my family and my close friends. They are a great source of support for me everyday. Love the time that we get to spend chatting (:
10. thank You God for the great fun i had with my friends during our commencement dinner. We had a good time laughing! (maybe i laughed too much.. which caused me to lose my voice?? haha)
11. thank You God for great day out with my friends. We had lots of fun today (:
12. thank God for showing me care and concern through my family and friends. And for healing me, my voice is coming back! yay!

I pray that i will be able to keep this resolution, and spend each day with a thanksgiving heart (: Want to join me on this thanksgiving journey? I can't guarantee that it's going to be smooth-sailing everyday, but then, we know that God has His plans, don't we? (:

filled with thanksgiving (:

2010-02-22T17:00:00.002+08:00

It's my 4th day back in Perth.. and i've moved into St. Catherine's College already. Life in college is not bad. The people are really nice. My neighbour is quite funny (She's really into korean songs. The songs 'Gee' and 'Nobody' is stuck in my head. haha) Got to know a few different people from Italy, China, Hongkong, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia.. The food here so far has been quite alright too. My bedroom is in the quieter wing of St. Cats compound, though it's a little distance away frm the main entrance, but i guess the environment is not bad for studying (:

School has started today, but for the first week it's just lectures, so it's still kind of like.. a little relax. Next week onwards, when tutorials start, it should be starting to become busier with tutorials and soon enough, assignments. haa. The weather now is still hot, only mornings and nights are cooling.. so in the afternoons, im trying to find shady areas to walk. haha :p

Sunday, i went back to PACE (Perth Alliance Church - English congregation). It's always nice to see familiar faces, and even nicer when you feel welcomed back by your friends (: While i was sitting down, praying before worship started, there was only one thing was on my mind, which is - Thank You God.. thank You.

Im really thankful for each day that God has been guiding and taking care of me. Whatever that i was worried about (like my moving hse, furnitures, settling down back in Perth, etc.. ) He took care of it and everything was ok in the end. God is really good to me (: and one more thing that i feel even more thankful for is that, God has granted me peace in my heart. Since i reached Perth till now, I have this peace in my heart. Even though there maybe times when i start to feel panicky/worried, somehow, i will manage to calm down and feel peaceful. 这种平安是从神而来的吧 (:

Thank God for my close friends and family back home too. My holidays back in Singapore, i truly enjoyed it, especially the time spent with each of them. Perhaps that why, im re-charged with all their love and support and was ready to return back to Perth. haa (: I do miss you all, but i know 4 months will fly. Meanwhile, i've got to make the best out of these 4 months.

I hope that i won't be forgetful of God's grace towards me, and that i will learn to be thankful always (:

2010-02-18T00:20:00.000+08:00

it's just one more day left, and then i'll be back in perth. having mixed feelings. but im more prepared this time round i guess..

对，是时候收拾心情，重新冲刺了. have to re-adjust the mindset.

I'll see you all again in 4 months..

All together again (:

2010-02-11T00:51:00.003+08:00

Upon reaching home after picking my korkor up at the airport just now. I am suddenly hit with this sense of familiarity and warmth by everything around me.

My korkor playing the guitar in his room. My younger bro packing his school bag. My younger sis in her sleepy state, asking my mum to sign some school form. My mum asking my siblings to quickly pack their things and then go to slp and she herself looking very sleepy too. My dad, switching on his laptop and doing his work. My grandma sleeping soundly already.. while 邓丽君's voice is playing from the vcd player (haa, cos my kor bought the CD for my dad. Theresa Teng is my dad's favourite. heehee). Nothing extraordinary, special or unique. Just like one of those normal days for us (minus the 邓丽君 part la. we dnt play her songs in our house everyday..haa)

The familiarity of it all.. Home (:
一家团圆真好..

2010-02-07T00:25:00.001+08:00

2 more weeks! Time flies when you're enjoying every minute of it (:

2010-01-18T21:25:00.004+08:00

J.O.Y= Jesus 1st, then Others, then Yourself

Each experience we go through is a reminder that we need God in our life.

2009-12-30T13:23:00.000+08:00

As the year 2009 comes to an end, i can't help but look back and say 'what a year!'

Indeed, what a year it has been. From graduating from poly to my 3 mths in YFC to studying in Perth, UWA. The lessons learnt throughout this whole journey is priceless. The struggles, the uncertainties, the waitings, the prayers, the tears, the hurts, the sleepless nights, the thanksgivings, the realisation of many things...

I think words can't really summarise all my thoughts and feelings of everything that i went through this year. But i guess, what i really want to say is a big Thank You to God. He has brought me through this year which is full of challenges i would say. My heart is overflowing with thanksgiving. He has taught me to trust in Him in every step i make. I may stumble, i may fear, i may doubt at times, but one thing for sure, He will always be there to help me.

And one major thing i learnt is that, i have come to really truly understand what are the 'things' that are most important to me. Well, besides God, it's my family and of course, my closest friends (i need not name you all, im quite sure you all know who you are).

I must say that i am very very blessed to be in this family and i've learnt not to take them for granted anymore. Though we may not verbally say 'i love you' or whatever. But you know, it's the actions, the presence rather than the words that shows the love. Really, what else can i say, they are my most precious.

And my closest friends. Thank God for the 3 of them. They have always been there for me through everything that i went through. My happy times, my sad times, etc.. They are always there to lend me their listening ear, to share my hurts, to give me advices, to encourage me, etc.. They are the ones whom i know, even though i may be far away in Perth, i can still turn to them anytime. They are the ones whom i know i can trust. They are the ones whom i know will not hurt me. They are the ones whom i know i will miss alot when im back in Perth.

2009, a year that was full of challenges, a year that has been bringing me out of my comfort zones, a year that i have come to realise, through each experience/lesson that i went through, i am reminded that i need God in my life.

2010, i've no idea what lies ahead of me. But i pray that i will remember the lessons that i have learnt in 2009 and bravely face the challenges in 2010. Everything is in God's hands.

How has 2009 been for you?

i wish..

2009-12-11T23:22:00.003+08:00

i wish that time will pass a little slower.
i wish that holidays can be very very long.
I wish that next year won't come so soon.
I wish that st.catherines will send me a confirmation email soon (like nowww) so that i dont have to worry my heart out about being homeless next year.
i wish that i don't have to go back to perth after cny.

Bintan MT - Team Laughterssss :D

2009-12-07T19:22:00.003+08:00

The bintan trip was a good one, though a little tiring but was rather enjoyable. Perhaps it's bcos this group is made up of a gd mix of pple, so working together has become quite gd actually. We can work rly fast. We actually finished packing and measuring the flour/rice/sugar/oil in an hr instead of using the allocated whole afternoon. So we helped to catalogue the library.. Now i can understand that cataloging is not as easy as we think it is.. haa. i think we shld call ourselves "Team Laughters" cos we laughed so much throughout the trip. thanks to the aunties and uncles and the other crazy pple. as shimu said "we used up our laughing quota" hahaha. so true.

thank God that it didnt rain when we went to give out the food packages in the village. cos after that, it rained so so heavily. overall, though it's just 2D1N, feels kinda short, but i had a great great deal of fun with everyone (:

changes.. different.

2009-11-29T00:10:00.006+08:00

after being away, i have come to realise many things.

Measuring the worth of a life..

2009-11-27T00:29:00.002+08:00

Watched the movie - 2012 today. it's a really good movie. I was so tensed up throughout. Some afterthoughts about the movie..

I think that, at the end of the day, a person who has billions and billions of money is just the same as a poor beggar on the street. We are all equal, don't you think? Does having more money makes you more important than someone who has lesser money? What makes one life more worthy than another? What makes one person more important than another? What do you use to measure the worth of a life? Can you even measure the worth of a person's life? As what one of the main characters said "How do you choose who gets to survive and who don't? Their cheque-book??"

"The moment we stop caring for one another, we lose our humanity."

go catch the movie if you can, it's a really good movie (in my own opinion) (:

to give is better than to receive

2009-11-25T18:37:00.003+08:00

哦主啊使我少为自己求
少求受安慰，但求安慰人
少求被了解，但求了解人
少求爱，但求全心付出爱

Forgiveness

2009-11-23T00:23:00.003+08:00

ok.. i get the hint God.. 4 times is not a coincidence anymore..

Forgiveness.

12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossian 3: 12-13

home is where the heart is

2009-11-15T19:44:00.003+08:00

I AM SO HAPPY TO BE BACK HOME!!! :D

even happier to see my loved ones. haha. going back to church tdy really feels like im dreaming. cant believe that im back. and the reactions of different people rly makes me want to laugh. some just stared at me with the stun look (i.e. raised eyebrows, eyes big) and took awhile to react, some see me and went "ahhhhhhhhhh" hahahaha. so glad so glad so glad to see my dearest friends again :D

my last night in perth before my summer holidays was really fun. haha. stayed out till 4am before heading home for a short rest and then to the airport. crazy huh, but i really enjoyed my time with PACE friends. they have made my 4 months in perth really enjoyable and fun (:

when i was on the plane, i kept looking at my watch. 1.05pm .. ok, watch movie. movie ended, it was only 2+pm... went to slp and woke up at 3+ .. went back to slp and woke up again, only to realise that 15 mins has passed. haha. you get the gist of my impatience i guess.. haha. and when i saw singapore from the plane, a smile unknowingly creep up my face. and the thought in my head was "im home, im home, im home, im home, im home" (: the feeling i had when i saw my family.. undescribable joy. and tdy, when i saw my dear lovelies in church, super happy (:

now that im back, it's amazing just looking back at the 4 months that passed. how God has brought me through every day. Seriously, without God, without my family and close friends, i don't how i will survive there. not that life there is bad, but you know, the bouts of homesickness, when u face difficulties... yeah. the 4 months in Perth, ive learnt many lessons, gain different perspectives, made new friends there and forge closer bonds with friends here.

im just really really glad to be home (:

'creative thinking' haha.

2009-11-10T16:08:00.003+08:00

looking at this photo makes me smile. the creativity of taking group photo when your friend is away in another country (: haha.

one of them (think it's either terry or zhenliang or cheeping) : let's take group photo!
me: huh?
one of them: ok. esther, smile smile, pose ah.
and then i realised what they meant by taking group photo. hahaha :D

5 more days till i see you all in church!

see you in a week!

2009-11-07T21:10:00.001+08:00

exactly 7 days from now, this time, i will be in Boon Lay with all my loved ones (ok, almost all my loved ones.. ) and we'll be having dinner together. FACE TO FACE. ican'twait! ican'twait!! ican'twait!!!

i skyped with them for a little while in the afternoon tdy cos my cousin was already at boonlay. the moment we skyped, one of my aunts said "7 more days! 7 more days!" in a loud voice and 7 fingers waving in the air. hehehe. so cute. and my cousin was asking "esther, you know the song 'Nobody' anot?" then i was like "yes.." then my cousin said "when you come out of the arrival gate, you will see your aunties singing that song to you... 'i want nobody nobody but you!~'"-faint- haha :D i love them and miss them to bits!

and then just now, when everyone was already at boonlay, i skyped with them again. then i was just telling them what i am going to do after my last paper.. and i said that i have to also clean up the house before i fly back on saturday.. then they said i can go back and help them to clean their houses.. haha. i'll be a part-time maid with a (almost) business degree :P

7/8 more days to seeing my loved ones. [7 days till i see my family&relatives. 8 days till i see the 4 lovelies (: ]

this is what happens when u chat with carmen late at night....

2009-10-28T00:18:00.004+08:00

chatting with carmen always makes me laugh. haha. this is what happens when we chat late at night...

brattalkت says:
so sian la... i miss going to pandan valley but not to ur place
i mean
Esther ; trust with faith says:
hahaha
i know what u mean la..
though it sounded wrong when i first read it
HAHAH
brattalkت says:
i dun like going to pandan valley when it's not going to your place
haha
sorry arh
it's the time of the day
Esther ; trust with faith says:
hahaha. its' ok
so cute ah u. i read that sentence again and i want to laugh.
lucky i can understand what u mean
hehehe
brattalkت says:
eh!
stop reading the question
Esther ; trust with faith says:
HAHAHA
brattalkت says:
the statement*
what qn
Esther ; trust with faith says:
must be the time of the day
brattalkت says:
i'm rlly crazy
Esther ; trust with faith says:
you are starting to yu wu lun ci
brattalkت says:
disorientated
Esther ; trust with faith says:
hahaha
brattalkت says:
oops
it's actually test of our friendship... see if you can understand me when i get dementia, etc
Esther ; trust with faith says:
HAHAHA
prbly we'll be SOOOOO gd friends that we get dementia together and all we can remember is each other .. HAHAHHA
brattalkت says:
haha
so funny
we'll go like... "esther?"
you'll say "what?"
then i would go like "what? why you what me?"
Esther ; trust with faith says:
HAHAHA
brattalkت says:
cause i forgot i called you
Esther ; trust with faith says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!!!!!!
this is the funniest la
ohmygdness. HAHAHAHAH!!!
den i'll go" what what? i where got what you?"
brattalkت says:
i'm just good at jokes at this time of the day
Esther ; trust with faith says:
ya. i think so too
brattalkت says:
first the bowels
Esther ; trust with faith says:
HAHAHHA
brattalkت says:
now this
Esther ; trust with faith says:
haha. nurse by day, joker by night
brattalkت says:
heh, then i cant do night shift
my patients will all die
Esther ; trust with faith says:
HAHAHAHA
they will be rolling with laughter
brattalkت says:
haha, all thanks to me
or maybe it's just you
you're the catalyst for my jokes
Esther ; trust with faith says:
HAHAHA!

just imagine our conversation if we really get such dementia.. we'll be entertaining ourselves the whole day... HAHA!

let go & let God.

2009-10-25T23:14:00.004+08:00

my mum: "... you need to have faith and confidence Esther. If you keep on holding onto it and not let it go, how do expect God to do His work? ... don't worry... be more confident, have faith in Him... let go and let God. He has prepared His best for you...."

yes, indeed. i need to trust God and have more faith in Him. and place everything in His hands. He is in control. so, i need to stop worrying so much. after all, God has shown me His goodness time and time again.

23 more days!

2009-10-22T20:31:00.002+08:00

finally, all tests are done, all assignments are submitted. i feel a little relieved now. but then, the thought of exams approaching is making me feel a little nervous.. and it isn't exactly because of the exams itself that is making me feel... scared.. owell..

i wish.. i can go home now. not that life here is bad. in fact, it has been quite alright. but then, every now and then, i would wish that my family is here with me or i am back home with them..

okay. shall focus. exams preparation now. if not, i know i will regret later.

very blessed and loved (:

2009-10-08T17:28:00.005+08:00

angela.c and i. thank God for her! (:

vivian and i. she's the one who planned almost everything. really sweet and nice of her. im quite touched by her surprise. i mean, afterall, i only know her for like 3 months so far.. yeah (:

and the surprise ice cream cake that yuexing gave me (: it was good. but we couldnt finish it at one go.. haa.

so, this was how my 20th birthday was celebrated with the people here in Perth and the manymanymany wishes i received from everyone back home in Singapore, and of cos, the presents that i received through airmail (:

i am very blessed. God always reminds me of that through the people around me and especially so through those who are held close to my heart (:

hope upon the Lord. have faith.

2009-10-04T16:15:00.003+08:00

2 Corinthians 1: 3- 11
The God of All Comfort

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our[a] behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

today's sermon in church was on Dealing with Pressure. i guess this passage in the Bible came quite timely. Now, most of us have a lot of assignments and tests on hand, year end exams are coming.. be it in Perth or Singapore. Everyone faces pressure, in one form or another.

What i found really comforting from today's sermon was verse 10. "He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us,"

Many thoughts ran through my mind. I thought about the victims of the disasters that happened in Indonesia, Philippines and American Samoa.. about some friends whom i know are feeling really stressed about school work, and many other things... and i am comforted by God's words as i am being reminded once again that God will bring us through whatever we are facing just like how He has always brought us through. be it you and i who are facing academic pressure/work pressure or the victims in the disasters who needs to hold on to hope..

Hopefully, this verse will be an encouragement to those who are feeling pressurized/down (:

i pray..

2009-10-03T16:19:00.005+08:00

使我作祢和平之子
在绝望之处播下祢盼望
在黑暗之处播下祢光明
在忧愁之处播下欢愉

哦主啊使我少为自己求
少求受安慰，但求安慰人
少求被了解，但求了解人
少求爱，但求全心付出爱

yesterday during cell, we were praying for the victims of the Manila typhoon, America Samoa tsunami and Indonesia earthquake. i couldn't help but teared as i pray.. hearing about so many calamities happening all at once, seeing the no. of victims, the helplessness.. and my heart ached when benny cried as he was sharing about one of the little girl that he was sponsoring drowned and passed away in Manila.

the news reported that a typhoon might hit Manila again, but thank God, in the end it didn't, now the typhoon is heading towards Taiwan.. i pray and i hope it won't.

indeed, many of us are living too comfortably. when we hear about such disasters happening to other parts of the world, how do we react? i think i've never felt so strongly about such disasters happening before.. but this time round, it is kind of overwhelming... it really is.

it got me thinking what if such calamity happened to me or my loved ones or even some random acquaintance that i know.. we should not take the peace or comfort that we are living in now for granted.. and i think it would be very selfish of us to just know about the news of such disasters and not do anything. i don't mean that we have to donate tons of money, or fly to the disaster areas immediately and help, etc... no, i'm not talking about all those big gestures. (unless you can afford to, then by all means, go ahead. give generously) what i mean is that the most immediate thing that you and i can do is pray. it's the simple yet powerful.

so if any of you are reading this, please pray. pray NOW. pray for the victims, for the many different disasters happening in the world..

从远方来的祝福...

2009-09-26T22:02:00.005+08:00

Ah Ma! 生日快乐! (:

how i wish i could be in Singapore to celebrate her birthday with her.. i miss her very much :/

time flies! it's my 11th week in Perth..

2009-09-24T21:56:00.003+08:00

2 weeks have passed since my dad and relatives left Perth. where did time fly to?? it just passes like a blink of an eye. Well, i reckon that is good, isn't it.. cos it means that i'll be going back to Singapore real soon. Now, don't get me wrong. Im not as homesick as i was 2 weeks back.. (yes, im much better now) but tell me, who wouldn't want to go back home.. back to the place where your loved ones are..

thank God for family, friends and skype!! haha :D but seriously, yes. Thank God for family and friends. I don't think i would have been able to get through this homesickness thing if it were not for them.. the words of encouragement through skype/msn/emails, the prayers, etc.. indeed, God has blessed me with my loved ones, very blessed (:

met up with Eric, Isabella and Violet (they're here for a week), along with Yuexing, Angela and Jingwen for dinner tonight. It was a good time of laughters and chatting. Seeing them made me miss people back at church.. :/ but i'll be home soon. heh.

last week, i finally submitted 2 individual assignments and had a test. today, just had 1 presentation. well, it's going to be a busy month ahead. there's something on every week leading up to the exams, either a team assignment submission or individual assignment submission or test. and then, it's the exams!! :S gotta start studying..

37 more days to exams!! :S
51 more days to homesweethome!!!!! :D

God, my unshakable pillar of strength

2009-09-10T21:58:00.007+08:00

For the past 5/6 days, i had a very enjoyable time spent with my dad, grandma, 3rd aunt, 3rd uncle and 4th uncle. They came over to Perth to visit me. It was really good to be able to see them once again after 2 months here, esp. my dad and grandma.

Seeing them, coming out from the arrival gate at Perth's airport, the joy in me is indescribable. Yet, there was mixed feelings inside me after awhile, cos seeing my dad, reminds me of my mum and siblings. They could not come as they need to prepare for exams and have to return to school for lessons during their sept 1 week break. I was happy yet sad. Wished that my mum and siblings could be here too. But i am thankful and contented that my dad is here. After all, one needs to learn to be contented with what one has and not "ask for a metre when given an inch"..

We went down south to Rockingham and travelled around.. The scenery was really beautiful and the food and places were nice too. But then, to say the truth, it wasn't really about the place that we stayed or the sunset that we saw or the sceneries or the food or the places that we went... It was the time spent with them. Every minute was so precious to me... (:

Now that they have gone back to Singapore.. of course, parting is always never easy for me. To say "goodbye" or "see you soon" is kind of hard. The feeling is as if suddenly, my pillars of support are gone again.. it's the feeling of being lost.. having to re-orientate myself back into the life here once again.. But then i know i will be fine after a few days.

As always, God knows when and how to place "cushions" for me.. I always feel better after talking to my mum on skype and also after talking to one of my close friend. And i would say, unexpectedly, I also received an email from my kor kor too.. his email was another timely reminder and encouragement for me. God truly knows.. He is my ultimate pillar of strength (:

There are a few things that i had to settle by myself here after my dad left.. which kind of made my head big.. I am someone who dislike uncertainties and dont really do well with changes.. But ive learnt as i have experienced God's grace time and again, that He has already taken care of the challenges before i even began to worry about it.

Saw this on Pamela's facebook status: "When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go. Only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly." So the moral of it is, trust in the Lord and not lean on your own understanding. Indeed, not my understanding, for God knows what's best for me.

Now it's back to the busy school life, with a few assignments on hand and exams in 1.5 mths time.. Time to tighten up and, as my 2nd aunt said, "chong ar!" haha. and then in 2 mths time, i'll be back home on that sunny little island, Singapore, with all my loved ones (:

with God in the driver seat, we are safe.

2009-08-26T17:45:00.002+08:00

ever since coming to Perth, i've been learning the lesson of trusting in God everyday. when i just got here, i fell sick - had diarrhoea for almost 2 weeks, and then after the case of diarrhoea, it was cough, flu and high fever.. and now, i have eye infection. (nth really serious. just need to put the antibiotic eyedrop)

i did thought abt it before, is Satan trying to attack me? but then, i know that God is always in control, whatever happens, He will know what to do, and carry me through it. No doubt, there are times when i panick, get scared, worry, etc.. but the thought of God reigning over everything calms me down.

staying overseas, being away from your family and comfort, really teaches you to be more independent. there are so many things that i take for granted, esp my family. like how my grandma will cook and clean, how my dad and mum work hard to let the 4 of us have a comfortable life, like when anything happens i can just turn to my dad or mum immediately, etc.. coming here is when i really learn the lesson of faith and trust. it's really about "being independent of man and dependent on God." really trusting in Him, seeking Him and letting Him be in control.

2 analogies that came to my mind today..

1. sometimes, we are like the car passenger and God is in the driver seat. we know that we dont have to worry much abt where we are going to and just trust Him to lead us through.. so that's good right? but then, humans being human, tend to let worry get the better of us sometimes, esp when we see that the "car" is not going along the "road" that we envision it to be. so we try to be the driver by directing the driver to travel according to how we think it shld be.

just like how, sometimes when we are faced with uncertainties or things are not happening according to what we think it shld be like.. we try to solve things according to our own way and telling (not praying.. telling) God to "let this happen." well... we shld let the driver, who is God, be the driver and trust that even though we may be travelling on roads that we have no idea where it is going to lead to, God knows.

another analogy, though almost similar, is

2. sometimes, we are the driver, we are so sure of ourself, we mapped out our "road" by ourself, thinking that we are very clear of where we want to go. so we sit in the driver seat and drive. but then.. as we continue to "drive", we start to see "unfamiliar surroundings" and then we realise that we are lost.. and then how? we have to turn to either the road map or the GPS for help.

it's just like how sometimes, we are so sure of our own plans that we have planned by ourself and we think that we know what to do.. but then, are we really that sure? eventually, no matter how sure we are, no matter what we plan, we will still need to seek God first, we still need Him to guide us.

both analogies, im guilty of it.. there are times when i let worry get the best out of me.. forgetting that God is in the driver seat, that He is in control. and there are times when im so sure of myself.. and ended up being humbled by God. trusting in God is a lesson that im still learning. it is hard to trust sometimes.. but then, with God in the driver seat, we know we are safe (:

a walk along Swan River

2009-08-13T23:31:00.004+08:00

after my stats lecture ended at 3pm today, on a moment of impulse, i decided to take a walk along swan river. well, the initial plan was to just take a short walk and get on the bus when i come to the next bus stop.. but well, who would have known that the walk would carry on till i reach the city.. haa. so eventually, i ended up walking 6+km i guess, for abt 1.5hrs.

i took my time to walk and just take in the beautiful scenery that God has created. It was a nice time with God too, just talking to God about the past 1 month, abt the many little lessons that i have learnt so far, thanking Him for the close friends that He has blessed me with, that ever since coming here, the friendships did not fade but became stronger and also thanking Him for my family whom i have learnt to cherish even more and not take for granted.. and so many other things..

1 month has passed, many more months to go.. and i know, whatever that lies before me, be it good or bad, happy or sad, it's all in God's hands. He will take care of me. and i will hold on to His merciful grace and trust in Him with faith (:

my family: super blessed, super loved.

2009-08-08T22:59:00.004+08:00

just some photos taken over skype..

some of my dear cousins. they always make me laugh (:

haha. my 'monkey' sister :P

some of my aunts and uncles.. im so loved (:

my grandma and my mummy! much loves and misses! (:

i love my family many many much much much!
<3

by the grace of God...

2009-08-06T21:38:00.004+08:00

Read a poem on Laiyi's blog and i thought that it is quite nice. And i remember that there is this poem that i came across about a year back.. and i thought that it was simple and meaningful.. so, here it is. enjoy (:

"I am one"
by Helen Keller

I am one
But I am one
I cannot do everything
But I can do something
What I can do
I ought to do
And what I ought to do
By the grace of God
I will do

103 days. haha.

2009-08-03T22:36:00.003+08:00

i miss home, miss my family, my relatives, my friends...

i think my homesickness is retarded. like, after being away from home for 1 month, the homesickness then really starts to kick in.. perhaps cos now that im mostly settled down, so my mind is finally not 'distracted' by all the settling down stuffs and it has time to think about home...

i've got abt 3 more months. Time will fly. Soon, i will be home (:

oh yes. thank God for technology. Skype, msn, laptops, webcams, speakers, phones - technology that aids communication - they are like the best invention so far... haa.

So blessed.

2009-07-30T19:17:00.003+08:00

It's going to be the end of my 3rd week in Perth already. Well, i wouldn't say time passes fast, cos there's still 3+ months to go before i get to go home for summer holidays. But neither is it slow, cos it's 3 weeks already.. and probably cos the sky here darkens really early, like at 5.30pm. So it makes the day seem to pass faster. haha.

School this week has been quite alright. Made a few more friends. Starting to get back into the studying life already. Have been doing my readings and tutorials and i guess it is time to start on my assignments too. First one is due in 3 weeks!

So, my fever has subsided on tuesday night. Thank you all for praying (: Now i'm still left with the cough and running nose. Guess the cough would take quite some time to go away. But at least i'm feeling better than how i felt on monday. Monday was really terrible. 38.6 deg. haa. Thank God that i'm alright now. Someone (i seriously can't remember who) told me before that i am surrounded by many angels.. and i think it's quite true. God has blessed me with many "angels" who.. you know, care for me, pray for me, support me and all. I am very blessed (:

I think, ever since coming to Perth, i've learnt to appreciate much more the many little things that my family (my parents especially) have done for me. I've learnt not to take them or the things that they do for me for granted. There are days when i really really miss home. Like sometimes, walking along the street or waiting for the bus and i see families, parents with their children.. yeah.. And, you know, it doesn't really matter where your house/home is.. I mean, you can have a house where you live in, but a home isn't a home unless it is where your family is.

sick....

2009-07-27T22:16:00.003+08:00

i have fallen sick - fever, cough, flu. It's a terrible feeling to fall sick in a foreign land with cold and dry weather... makes me wished i was back at home in Singapore... but thank God that yuexing is here. Thanks for taking care of me!

Pray for me ok? to recover soon. and for yuexing too, cos she seems to be having cough also.

1 week in Perth

2009-07-19T18:46:00.004+08:00

it's been 1 week in Perth already. So far, quite good. The weather is still the same - cold cold cold. but, im slowly getting used to it already.

Yesterday night i skyped with my relatives (paternal side). It was really really good to see them again. Thank God for technology. Skype really helps a lot with the homesickness cos you get to talk to and see your loved ones and friends (:

Yesterday, i also went to Yuexing's church. It was quite alright. The people there were mainly UWA students. The sermon was about "Unshakable Faith". Even in times of trouble, uncertainty, grief, we just gotta hold on to our faith in God. People say that we see so that we can believe. But faith is about believing so that we can see.

True enough. Reminds me that i gotta keep having faith in God, to trust Him that He will lead my everyday. Especially now that im here in Perth, in a place that is new to me. There will be times that i face uncertainties. But like the song "Still" says "When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You above the storm. Father You are King over the flood, I will be still and know You are God." So, i know God is always in control of everything, i just gotta keeping having faith.

Today, i went to angela cheng's church. Her church is very much like QBC. So when i went there, there was a homely feeling. And that was when i started to miss QBC, the worship, the service, the people back home. hehe. Today's sermon was about "Having ears, do you not hear?" - Listening to God. Sometimes, when we feel that we can't hear God, it isn't because God is not speaking to us, but rather, we are not listening. Like what the Bible says about being "slow to speak and quick to listen." We need to have a silent mouth so that we can listen to what God has to say to us. We need a listening ear and a responsive heart too. So, be patient and quiet, and listen to what God has to say to you.

School is officially starting tmr. It's just lectures for this week, tutorials will only begin next week. Kind of curious what is it going to be like.. Gotta get into the studying mood now. haa.

Some prayer requests:
1. My stomach. Cos this whole week, im still having mild diarrhoea. It isn't the food. Cos what im eating is the same as what Yuexing is eating. Perhaps my internal system is still adapting. yup.

2. Pray that i know how to manage my time and finances well. haa.

yep. so, thanks for praying! (:

Greetings from Perth!

2009-07-16T22:42:00.002+08:00

Today's my 5th day in Perth. It's really very cold here. It's like constantly living in a fridge. haha. I'm starting to forget what it feels like to have warm weather :P I've been rather busy (well, yuexing too. haha) ever since me and yuexing touched down in Perth on Sunday afternoon.

When we were outside of the airport, waiting for yuexing's uncle to come and fetch us, i was looking at the beautiful sky, and i said to God, "God, this is the beginning of a whole new phase of my life. I know You'll lead my every step. Teach me to trust You even more." Yup. The feeling was kind of surreal, cos i still can't really believe that i've reach Perth. haha, and what's more, i'm going to be here for the next 4 months.. and well, in total, 2 years. I was really tired that day, cos we woke up quite early to go to the airport. So after calling my mum, i went to sleep already.

My orientation started on Monday till Thursday, which is today. Well, Monday till Wednesday there wasn't much going on. Mainly just talks, briefing and doing the admin stuffs. Today is the officialy orientation day called the "Kickoff". Orientation was quite alright, made a few new friends, from Norway, China, Malaysia and Singapore. haha.

The busy and tiring part was that from Monday to Wednesday, me and yuexing were like busy buying furnitures and groceries. Some of you might have seen the photos of the things that we bought in the back of the car.. haha. Yeah. That was Monday. Tuesday we went to buy furnitures like my table, shelve, mirror, etc.. super tiring. Cos we had to fix it from scratch.. but when we finished fixing the table and shelve, the sense of satisfaction is great. haha :P

I learnt how to travel to school on Wednesday. So now i sort of know how to travel around from home to the City and school. Not bad for a road idiot like me.. haha. Wednesday's orientation was mainly doing the enrolment and time-table. Took me in total like 6 hours.. 11.30 till 5+pm. But well, in the end, i will be doing 3 majors - Management, Entrepreneurship and Marketing. yep. cos i need to complete 16units (units are like.. subjects) and doing 1 or 2 major wouldn't be enough cos there are many overlapping units. So i end up doing 3 majors.

3 majors sound scary.. but actually, it is just like.. you know, sec sch, taking Triple science.. Pure Bio, Physics, Chem. and then under each Science, there are different sub-category. smthg like that.. haha. kind of confusing. well.. at least i know it'll look good on my resume :P

So, that's my life so far in Perth. Thanks to yuexing for bringing me around so that i won't be so lost and also cooking for me. haha. She cook, i wash. Thank God for everyday, cos it's really by His grace that i can come to Perth, study in UWA. The settling down process has been quite alright too, though there were just short periods of time that i sort of miss home. But well, God always send me His angel to encourage me with words, moral support and all... (: so the homesickness isn't that bad..

School is going to start next week. Lectures in the 1st week, and then tutorials will start in the 2nd week. Kind of exciting to start school yet at the same time, a little apprehensive cos i don't know what will be happening. But i guess that's fine. God will lead and take care of me (:

Missing everyone back in Singapore. Esp. my family, relatives and close friends.. but don't worry about me. I'm fine here (: I will try to upload the photos soon and update my blog when i have the time.

Many misses..

2009-07-12T01:20:00.008+08:00

Finally, after many months of talking and thinking and preparing... the time to leave for further studies in Perth has arrived. The feeling is quite surreal.. can't believe that i am really going to Perth already. It's a mixture of excitement and anxiety, like having giant butterflies in my stomach.

I really don't know how life would be like there, being so many miles away from home, from the loved ones. There is a saying "Home is where the heart is" so true indeed. But God is good to me, cos i know i won't be alone over there in Perth. Yuexing will be there, so is Angela Cheng. At least there are people there whom i can turn to for help when the need arises.

I would say that this is a big leap of faith for me. I think it is really time for me to learn to be independent of men and totally dependent on God, to learn to trust in Him in every step that I take.

I thank God for the past 2-3 weeks, for the time that i got to spend with the different people - my family and relatives, Shimu, Carmen, Kat, Laiyi, tuanqi brothers & sisters, the aunties in church, my poly friends and sec sch friends, my poly lecturers. I have seen how much God has blessed me with so many people in my life. I am deeply and truly touched by their gestures. The meals that they treated me to, the advices they gave, their prayers, etc.. I really feel super duper loved and I want to thank God for each of you.

4 months do sound short, it's almost like an extended holiday. But i guess, when you're away from home, even 1 month would be long.. There are so many to miss.. my family and relatives, the weekly gatherings we have on saturday, the fun and laughters that we have, and also church friends - esp. the close ones, the comfort of being at home, being taken care of, being able to just sms/call/meet anytime anywhere with anyone.. So as my mum said, this will be a turning point in my life, for me to explore and experience. And of course, i know, everything is in God's hands, He is in absolute control.

I will definitely miss everyone back here, especially those whom i hold really dear and close to my heart. You all know who you are. Please take very good care of yourself, keep in touch with me. I will try to update my blog regularly about my life in Perth. See you all again in 4 months time...

Mission Conference Handbook ......... SKYPE!

2009-06-28T23:50:00.001+08:00

don't you just love technology? haha. Li'er and i have been at Shimu's house for the past few days doing the mission conference handbook. and we took the chance to webcam with Xue'r and Taorong too :D so fun so fun! (amidst all the work we're doing...)

i think we - Li'er, Shimu and I, certainly know how to entertain ourselves and keep ourselves awake... our 'crazy' side starts coming out when we're tired. haha! i think we should call ourselves "The Crazies".. Li'er The Crazy Designer, Esther The Crazy Photo Editor/Proof Reader and Shimu The Crazy Translator/SuperWoman. haha :D

Li'er, cool right? maybe i shld add in Ming Zhi - the "Pan4 Tu2" who ran to Thailand... hahahaha.

back home from retreat... and gone again in 3 weeks time..

2009-06-20T20:59:00.002+08:00

came back from church retreat ytd. it was a good retreat, though busy, but managed to spend a great time with my church friends (: enjoyed the bonding time we had... just what i needed, after being so busy for the past 2 months or so... to spend time with some of the close ones (: and i thank God for the messages during the retreat. They have certainly refreshed me, it's like, you're thirsting and someone gave you a cup of water in time.. the messages were quite timely and thought-provoking. i liked the discussion time too as it helps us to think deeper about the messages. great retreat, great time spent with friends, esp. the close ones (:

well, it's 3 more weeks till i leave for perth... time rly flies. i was just saying it'll be 2 more mths till i leave. and now, it's 3 more weeks. kinda exciting and nervous and scary at the same time. and when im there, the people whom i turn to anytime, won't be just a phonecall away anymore.. well, or at least it wouldn't be that easy to just call or find them anytime i want... owell. i guess it's rly time to learn to be independent on my own, and learn to be totally dependent on God..

goodbyes..

2009-06-08T19:23:00.003+08:00

Tao rong and Xue'er left for Northern Thailand yesterday with a great mission - to serve the Lord and the people there.

For the past 2 months or so, i came to realise how difficult it is to step out of my comfort zone. and i believe that it is the same for Xue'er too. To leave behind her comfortable life, for her to go out there and, despite of whatever that lies ahead of her, serve the Lord. It takes great courage and obedience and I truly respect and admire my dear sister for being able to do so.

She was an example for me to look up to. Someone whom i learnt what is meant by faithfulness and obedience to God, in whatever circumstances. The advices and the encouragements that she gave to me are always timely and right-on-the-spot.

Like what she has been quoting to us from the Bible,

"For everyong who is given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted much, much more will be asked." Luke 12:48

Indeed, so true...

See you soon, hopefully, my dear sister (:

2009-05-25T00:11:00.004+08:00

At the Home of Martha and Mary [Luke 10:38 -42]
³⁸As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
⁴¹"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

I need to learn to be like Mary... and stop being like Martha.

Dear Father, teach me please, help me.. Amen.

Thank You God.

2009-05-01T22:11:00.002+08:00

it's been close to a month since i last blogged...

I thank God for the past 1 month. the past 1 month has been busily fruitful (:

I thank God, for saying He can, when i say i can't.

I thank God, for the people around me, whom i have learnt a lot from.

I thank God, for giving me the privillege to serve Him.

I thank God, for showing me that i can do more for Him.

I thank God, for speaking to/reminding me through the many sessions in YFC, through my quiet time.

I thank God, for the timely reminders.

I thank God, for everything.

I've been serving in YFC for the past 1 month now. Many people have asked me why i decided to join YFC's gradserve program... GradServe is a 4 months program for poly graduates whereby we can serve God through doing outreach to poly youths and helping out in evangelistic projects, etc. Long story short, i decided to join this program after praying for a week because i realised that this is the opportunity for me to equip myself to be a better tool for God's use. and indeed, after joining YFC, i realised how inexperienced i am. but thank God for the many examples around me, and people who are willing to patiently guide me.

the past 1 month has been a wonderful experience. and im sure there are many more things to experience in time to come. Do continue to pray for me (:

so go & share the good news...

2009-04-07T22:40:00.004+08:00

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?"
Romans 10:14

just how can we not share?

2009-03-17T20:36:00.003+08:00

"How can there be things that we would do and will never neglect in our physical life - like eating, sleeping, drinking, etc.. and yet, in our spiritual life there are things that we ought to do but neglect? - like spreading the gospel to others."

"I don't fear a wasted life, but i fear the wasted death of Christ. (God being crucified on the cross for us) "

the points that hit me strongly today during "Process Evangelism" session at YFC...

2009-03-08T00:51:00.006+08:00

使我作祢和平之子
在绝望之处播下祢盼望
在黑暗之处播下祢光明
在忧愁之处播下欢愉

哦主啊使我少为自己求
少求受安慰，但求安慰人
少求被了解，但求了解人
少求爱，但求全心付出爱

God, the Almighty Healer

2009-03-03T23:41:00.009+08:00

went to the hospital to visit 师母 for the past 2 days. rly relieved to see that she's recovering, though she still feels the pain and discomfort.. i hope she feels better soon. going to visit elaine tmr with carmen, heard that there's still slight swelling... aiis..

it rly pains to see them in such discomfort. but i know everything is in God's hands. He will heal them. if anyone of you is reading this, pls do pray for them ok, for their speedy recovery.

2009-03-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

it hurts to see your friends in pain/discomfort.. and there is nothing much that you can do to help them..

i have come to the end of the polytechnic road..

2009-02-28T10:24:00.002+08:00

so, i have finally come to the end of my polytechnic days. a tad unbelievable that i have come thus far, yet also utterly grateful that i have come thus far. these 3 years were definitely not an easy one. tons of ups and downs that they can make a big long rollercoaster ride. haha. but yet, through it all, i've grown, i've changed. and i would say, i'm glad that i went to poly, that i chose to walk the poly road, for perhaps it is during my time here that i learnt the most.

through these 3 years, i've learnt to trust in God and have faith in Him. even if situations are undesirable, even when i felt like im in utter despair, when i felt like im losing hope, when so many things seemed to be rushing at me at the same time that i've no idea what to do, i learnt that i just gotta have faith and trust in Him to bring me through.

and i believe in this more strongly as time goes by during my poly years bcos i have seen and felt what it means by "He makes everything beautiful in His time." and the verse, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." has indeed struck a chord in me.

of cos, there are times when i asked "why God? why? how come?", "God, do you hear me?", etc.. but when i finally understood why at points in time God said yes/no/wait/etc.. i learnt not to question that much anymore. well, now, there are still times when i asked God "why?" and then, (imagine God raising one eyebrow and giving me that look) i would say "okkkk, i know, i know. i won't question Your plans. i know You know what You're doing. i will trust..." haha :P

poly life can be challenging at times, but i do cherish the time spent doing things that are of my interests, no doubt tiring at times, but i rly enjoy doing the projects/roadshows/whatnots. and at the end of the day, when you see the projects/presentations/reports/roadshows/etc that you have done, the "fruit of your labour", there's always a sense of acheivement, and the bonus would be when you get a good grade la. haha.

through these 3 years, i thank God for my poly friends. they made it easier to go through the "labour". we had our own fair share of fun and laughter too. and of cos, i thank God too for those few friends who are close to my heart, for they have encouraged me, provided me with a listening ear and showered me with lots of care and concern through it all (:

on the last day of school (thursday), my friends and i were talking over dinner, asking each other what are our plans for the future, what would our future career be? and i was thinking, i am interested in events management, somewhere along that line. like organising events and all that. perhaps it was through the poly years, when we get to experience what is it like to either organise an event/ be part of the 'carrying-out the event" people/ etc.. like those times when i got the chance to help out at the EFFIES award (an advertising award event, the judging round on the different ads and their other promotional tools) and the Hall of Fame Gala Dinner (when they gave out the awards). both events have been a great experience and has stirred an interest in me. haha. but the future, who knows how it will turn out to be?

for now, it's on to a whole new phase - University. yes, another academic phase. i've no idea where i would end up studying at. really. have to wait for my results to come out, then show them my final sem results and then wait for the acceptance letters. only then perhaps, all the fog will be cleared and i'll know where im heading to. so now, it's a 4 months break for me. haha. time to start planning what im gonna do..

one after another...

2009-02-19T23:14:00.007+08:00

lots of things on my mind..
and with the exams approaching close.... owell.

but i will trust in the Lord. bcos i know that He makes everything beautiful in His time.

short update. hehe

2009-02-03T11:15:00.002+08:00

shall do a quick update since yuexing asked me too. but im not the person who haven't update for the longesttttt time.. (hint hint: carmennn) haa.

have been quite busy. with cny visitations. so many places to go, so many dinners to go... and of cos school has been crazy too. had to prepare my presentation slides before cny starts, cos when i returned to sch after cny hols, i had to do a presentation. besides that, there's still my FYP - StompAIDS to do.. no more roadshows, but time to consolidate results and prepare report and presentation. there's still a magazine to be done too. so yupyup busy busy.

cny was great. chu yi is always the same every year.. first stop, paternal grandma hse - lots of pple! and you can like continously hear pple saying 新年快乐 for abt 1 hour. haha. next to maternal grandma hse, then usually it would be home and then off to my third aunt's hse.. but this year b4 heading to my third aunt's hse, we went to ps. ke's hse. at night was the cny tradition of bowling with church pple. chu er, morning went to 吴师母's hse with 破晓 pple, i think her house is the house that i visit for the longest time.. cos my parent's took sooo long to come. after that headed to my 2nd aunt's place and then back to my paternal grandma place for dinner.

since this year's cny only has 2 days, obviously, it isn't enough for my paternal side of the family for all the visitations. so, friday night, went to my eldest uncle's hse for dinner and then saturday morning, to my third uncle's hse, at night to my grandma's hse for dinner. sunday was dinner to celebrate my maternal grandpa's bday. haha. busy busy huh :P

so, the fun has sort of ended alr.. cos i've less than 1 mth to my exams!! 20 days to be exact. my gdness. panic panic! and yuexing, sorry, haven't been able to take time out so that we 4 could go out together. but dnt worry k, i will make sure the 4 of us get to go out tgther b4 you go to aussie again (:

ok. time to jiayou alr. 冲啊!!!

CNY is cominggggg

2009-01-22T23:51:00.002+08:00

just finished helping out with house spring cleaning..

anyway, there wasn't any roadshow today. was canceled last min. so happy. finally, NO MORE ROADSHOWS! haha. roadshows are quite fun to organize and all... but the preparation and the process ah, tiring leh. rly.. so now, all that i am left with is a mini individual report (by wed), a lecture presentation (on wed) and a magazine submission (6th feb). yup..

im trying to like complete my report asap.. cos i rly have no idea where i am going to find the time to do it during cny.. so hopefully i can finish it by sunday?? that leaves me with my lecture presentation slides.. haiyo. dnoe why my tcher wants us to present immediately after cny.. who is going to have the time??? (maybe i have to resort to bringing my laptop around with me. ha!)

anyhow, im so glad that this "eventFULL" week is almost over! like finally.. you know. that kind of feeling.. like "yes! i made it! i survived! thank God!" hahaha :D

well, just another 2 to 3 more wks and then.. finally, ALL projects/presentations/reports/etc will be done. yup. no more already. all completed. finish. accomplished. yup. which means what??... time to prepare for final exam lor... if not what else? hahaha

not because of what i've done, but because of who You are.

the joy of the Lord is my strength

2009-01-18T18:26:00.005+08:00

have been really busy ever since school started due to the tons of deadlines to meet. quite exhausting actually, due to the countless late nights. so much so that i've fallen sick when school just started.. had quite a bad cough, but thank God that now, my cough has sort of subsided. thank God for caring friends too, for the herbal drinks (i think it's herbal la) to cure the cough..

im just so thankful that these 2 weeks have passed and the projects/reports/presentations/roadshow that are supposed to be done and completed are done and completed..

the coming week will be another "eventful" week with a roadshow on monday, presentation on tuesday, a quiz on wednesday, another roadshow on thursday and a report submission on friday. haha.

in the past, i used to say that the train has started cos it's a long and tiring road with lots of ups and downs. but this time round, in my last term of my poly years, i would say.. the rocket has taken off..

when you say you can't, God says He can.

God's grace..

2009-01-12T23:36:00.001+08:00

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
- Isaiah 40:31

just a train of thoughts

2009-01-07T23:57:00.007+08:00

- im graduating soon, in 7 more weeks.
- universities admissions have already opened (local and overseas)
- i have yet to really decide which business course i want to take
- i need time to think abt the courses
- my dad is asking me for the past 1 week or so to apply asap.
- i still have projects and reports to be done
- not forgetting exams too..
- i think i can only start applying for admission after i graduate
- i need time to sit down, look through the possible choices and think..
- i don't want to just anyhow apply for uni admission now, just for the sake of submitting my application as early as possible.
- i have 5 to 6 more wks before my final exam..
- i can't wait to finish my reports/presentations/roadshows/projects!!!
- my nose is blocked and my throat is itchyyyy
- ok. im going to slp now..

thinking back.. and all i can do is give thanks.

2008-12-31T10:32:00.002+08:00

There are many many thoughts that run through my mind when i look back at the past 1 year..

What a year indeed. many many ups & downs. times when im truly happy, i can feel the happiness in my whole body, time when i fall down so hard, i thought i can't get up anymore, times when i was disappointed that i sort of lose hope.. but through it all, good times or bad times, i learnt many many lessons of faith. time and again, God reminded me that He is always there.

I thank God for my family, indeed i am so blessed. I thank God for friends, especially those whom i hold close and dear to my heart. They have always been there for me too.

there's still 2 more mths to go before i graduate. the year 2009, i wonder what would it be like.. wonder what my results will be? what am i going to do after i graduate? which uni will i be going to? will it be in singapore or australia? will i get to go for a mission trip before uni?..... so many questions, so many possibilities, so many decisions to make, so many unknowns..

but well, ready or not, 2009 is here...

what a week!

2008-12-28T22:44:00.005+08:00

been busy with activities for the past 1 week.. so here's an update. since im kinda lazy to blog. hehe.

Monday: shopping at taka with my mum, bro & sis. need to shop for christmas cards and exchange present for the yr end theme party. crowded like crazy! make me feel so frustrated. but thankfully, i managed to get what i needed.

Tuesday: my cousins came for stayover so that they can practice the christmas songs that we're going to perform for the adults on christmas eve.

Wednesday: woke up at 8am, only to realise that all my cousins are alr awake and playing with the WII Rockband set that my cousin, pearlyn, brought over. at night, all my relatives came over for celebration. haha. it was a super fun time! had caroling, and we played our usual blanket game. laugh till our sides hurt and our eyes are tearing.. haha :D

Thursday: went to church for christmas service. zhiyi, terry, bingbing & dion got baptised! so happy for them! gave out some cards. love the cards & gift that i received (: then went out for dinner with my family.

Friday: met up with carmen to go to 师母's hse for lunch. had a nice time there. and then, when i reached home, i realised that i've forgotten to bring my keys with me! and no one was at home! i called my mum and waited for them to bring me out for dinner. haha. had dinner at Turf City's Manis Manis, a peranakan food restaurant. good food!

Saturday: went for morning walk at Henderson Wave. a little tiring, but enjoyed the walk. evening was soar & qi cheng's yr end theme party! haha. the theme was BIG. and i cldn't rly think of any idea.. so i decided to bring my big umbrella along with me. had a crazy fun time playing the games! sucking the ping pong ball, catching the bread with yr cheeks, blowing the ping pong ball.. hahaha :D

Sunday (tdy): after church & tuanqi's mtg, went to vivo with carmen and zhiyi for a short while. met my parents to go to Manis Manis for dinner again. went there with aunty mingmei's family & 师母's family this time round. after dinner, we went to play soccer at Temesek Club. well, technically speaking, those who played soccer were the males plus hua sze and my sis la. 5 adults (uncle daojun, my dad, uncle jifu, uncle biaoxi & 牧师) against 11 children. while the rest of us just sit there and watch and talk. hahaha. it's quite fun to watch them play, see how the kids tackle the adults. haha.

so yup. that's abt it. my 1 wk since i came back frm china. what an activities-filled week huh... going to get busy with my projects soon, from tuesday onwards. the train is abt to begin it's journey once again. the final lap... sch's starting soon!!! :S

I'm back!!

2008-12-22T17:22:00.001+08:00

fun trip! great time! many funny/crazy experiences. what a trip indeed! best part of the trip: visiting my relatives. the feeling is awesome. though we are from different parts of the world.. yet we are related. and we bond quite well too! haha. i kind of miss them.. who knows when would be the next time i see them...

so, some highlights/interesting experiences/whatever you call it.. haha

1. im officially known as the toilet queen of the trip. cos ive no idea why, but i go to the toilet like nobody's business.. feels like my bladder died on me.. it wasn't working at all! hahaha

2. the weather is very cold! and when the wind blows..... brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

3. getting to see my grandpa's side of relatives again (:

4. visiting my grandma's hometown! best part of the trip! seeing all my relatives makes me feel.. warm inside? yup (:

5. saving a dog that is abt to drown in the cold pond at the tea garden. yup. what a kan cheong experience mannnn...

6. we sang karaoke there. what a crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy fun time we had! hahahahaha!

7. along the way back to shenzhen, our bus tire was punctured by some nails on the road. so we were stranded on the highway for abt an hour. since it isn't safe for us to be waiting along the highway (cos we might get robbed or smthg la...) we took refuge among the tall trees/shrubs and bushes next to the highway..

8. first time peeing among the bushes.. well, i had no choice. we were stranded along the highway, there was no toilet and i was on a superrrrrrrrrr high tide.. so. yup. what a super embarrassing experience :S

9. first time getting counterfeit money.. 20RMB. now we know how to differentiate between the real and the fake alr..

10. giving my mummy a mini surprise bday celebration (:

well, personally, i felt that i enjoyed my time at shantou much more than at shenzhen. perhaps it's bcos my relatives are at shantou, or bcos i felt that shenzhen seems to be .. quite messy.. or maybe simply bcos i was alr sick when im at shenzhen. yup. as predicted, haha, i fell sick. sore throat, cough, flu. quite bad actually cos i started to get a bad headache, ended up taking 2 panadols :P all in all, this trip was a great experience. ain't sure when im gonna go back and visit my relatives again..

so. Christmas is coming! can't wait can't wait! it's a time for gathering, a time for thanksgiving cos Jesus was born, a time where fun, laughter, peace, love, joy, blessings are shared and spread (: what a wonderful feeling it is...

have not been seeing my dear friends for abt 3 wks alr... can't wait to see them again!

away to china from 12th to 21st...

2008-12-12T09:54:00.005+08:00

im leaving for china this evening.. it's been ages since i went on such a long trip, and it's my 2nd family trip overseas ever since i entered poly. 1st would be the genting trip last yr for 3 days only... having sort of mixed feelings abt this trip. kinda excited abt it, yet there is still smthg that is holding me back... which is my projects and presentations i guess :S

but nevertheless, i will enjoy my time there. afterall, im going to visit my hometown. haha. i like that kind of feeling... you know.. going back and visit the places where my grandparents were born, see how different it is, etc.. yeah. my mum says that the temperature there now is 13 to 22 degrees... wonder exactly how cold that is.. but it sure sounds cold enough. haha.

so, remember to miss me while im away (:
yes, i'll miss you all too :P

Church Retreat 2008!!

2008-12-10T23:12:00.001+08:00

im back from church retreat! had a wonderful time there (:

to think abt it.. it rly isn't abt the food, or the lodging, or shopping or whatnots, but rather, it's the people, the friends, the time that we spent together worshipping, listening to the messages, playing the group games, chatting with friends, having fun together that makes the church retreat such an enjoyable one...

it feels good to be able to getaway from the hustle and bustle of life in singapore for awhile.. to spend some time to rest and reflect on God's word. kinda missed the retreat time now.. the time spent with friends and all that. even my sister feels the same way.. although everyday is scheduled, you have to wake up early and all.. but still, we enjoyed it. haha.

will be away from 12th to 21st dec. going to china (shantou & shenzhen) to visit my distant relatives. yes. i still have relatives in china k.. my grandparents' brothers and sisters, nieces nephews, etc... haha.

TIREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2008-12-01T18:46:00.002+08:00

carrying out the StompAIDS roadshow tdy is really very tiring. lots of stuffs to set up and then after that have to walk around to give out balloons and flyers, etc.. not forgetting the weather! my gdness. very very hot ah! i feel like im in a sauna constantly. the only comfort is that the response for the roadshow is quite good. hopefully, tmr when the HPB pple come down to our roadshow for observation and all that, they will be satisfied with what we've done...

there's still RM roadshow on wednesday and thursday! and it's B.A e-learning week! i wonder where are we going to get the crowd from... and i still need to study and prepare for BB common test! gdness gracious me.. aiis.

Dear God, please grant me strength and perseverance.. thank You so much.

okays. need to continue studying now..

God's grace is always enough

2008-11-28T01:41:00.007+08:00

have been feeling kinda tired & busy with the roadshows preparation and project submissions.. next week will be a "sardine-packed" busy week. there's 2 roadshows from 1st to 4th and term test on 5th... but, i will endure! just 1 more week to go!

well, it seems like there are a few things that needs to be completed during my break

1. IB final report - seems easy yet muchhhhh research required.. aiis.
2. IB tutorial presentation
3. BB magazine report - 20 articles, 40 page analysis required!! :S

i hope i have enough time during the 3 wks break to finish what i've to accomplish...

we're 46 already!

2008-11-23T21:52:00.006+08:00

it's QBC's 46th Anniversary today! Praise the Lord! i think no words can be used to describe His goodness, His grace and love.... (:

1st time being part of the 3rd flr's worship team. was kind of nervous at first. (thank you ellie for praying for me! hehe.) But when i stood up there with the worship team, thinking abt how God has been so so good, how He has been blessing our church for so many years, my heart was filled with so much thanksgiving and i just can't stop praising Him.

anyway, can't wait for church retreat to come! the last one that i went to was like... 6 years ago i think. super long. haha. 2 more weeks! and then it'll be a time of rest and fun!