somehow, it feels like some things are changing...

and, it is only january...



but i belive, for everything, God has His reasons and plans in it... so... yup.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip - He who watches over you will not slumber."

Psalm121:1-3

and now, i feel even badder.

:'(

waiting. 1 more mth from now. feb 21st: my last paper.

and then, i can rest and do the things that i like/miss/dream of ... such as reading a good book, meeting up with sec sch friends, watch vcds, go to the beach, taking slow walks, going out with friends, have long conversations over the phone or face-to face, doing more meaningful stuffs instead of typing reports. doing all these without feeling rushed or guilty.

for now, i just have to do what i gotta do. complete my reports and study for exams.
endureeee.

arghh! why am i so careless?!

:'(

whywhywhyyyyy. ... aiis.
so angry at myself.
i just hope that it will reappear again somehow.

well. another week has passed. fast huh... well, it does seem that way to me. everyday seems to be rushing by.

2 reports done already. left with 2 presentations and 1 more report. oh, and after the past few days of preparing and all that, finally, the bazaar is here tmr. hopefully, we'll be able to earn some profit. haha.

my parents and younger sis is at malaysia now for a super short 2D1N trip with some of the church pple. haha. and my younger bro is at my uncle's hse while my kor is not back home yet, either that or he's not coming home tonight. so now, im home all alone.. well. as always la :/

tmr is another long day. shall pack the stuffs for tmr's bazaar and go to slp soon. im tired.

i made the mistake of drinking coffee just now.

cos i was feeling reallly tired but i still had my report to complete! so, i went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee to let the caffeine give my brain a kick to wake up. bad idea. now that i've finished my part for the report. i can't go to slp! for the 1st time (as far as i remember i guess), coffee HAS an effect on me! haha.

ok. fine. either that or i just can't go to slp la. my body timing is seriously hay-wired already. i think im becoming an owl soon... no. im not talking abt the dark eye-rings [no matter how tired i am, how little slp i have, i won't have eyebags or dark eyerings. haha] im talking abt. being nocturnal. ok. time to try to slp. gdnite. or morning. haha.

whew! almost a week has past! cant believe it. been rather busy ever since monday.

31st dec 2007:
woke up at abt 10am cos lav, debbie and christie are coming over to do our blaw proj. done a teeny bit of our proj and they had to go cos they all had programs in the afternoon. slack around the house abit, tidied my room up. then went out to meet yuexing for dinner before heading to church for watchnight service and countdown.

had thanksgiving. i didn't go out to share. cos, didn't felt comfortable saying out to so many pple.hee. so anyway. after the thanksgiving sharing session. we proceeded to the 3rd flr to join the eng. cong. pple in the countdown. i like uncle daniel's short msg. we have to learn how to appreciate others, it is a lesson that many people know. it is something that many peole want from others, but yet do not know how to show to others.

soon it was the last 10 seconds of the year 2007. everyone was rly excited as we count down. and then before i knew it, it's 2008. everyone went around congratulating each other and hugging each other. i didn't feel that hyper excited though. maybe i still cldn't believe that a year had passed already. owell.

anyways, the whole grp of us i think abt like 40 pple?? went to holland v's essential brews. i think we made like super alot of noise. haha. but it was all good fun la. after that some went home, while the rest of them .. around 20+ went to my hse for stayover. oh. we didnt slp at all. watched some movie show, then played games. haha. i have no idea how i could sustain la.

some of them left at 7am, while the rest left around 11+am.. i went to christie's hse to contd with our blaw project. i was super ultra mega tired then alr. cos i have gone without slp for abt 28 hours at that time. daddy came to pick me up frm her hse. had dinner and then went home to contd with the proj. i slpt at 2am. my gdness. by then. i think i cld nt process anything in my head at all. have yet to slp for abt 40 hours already. i was sooo extremely ultra mega super tired. i think i coma-ed immediately when i touched the bed. haha

2nd jan was the 1st day of sch. but felt like it's been a month of sch or smthg already. the whole day passed like a blur la. was still feeling very tired.

anyway, somehow or rather. i managed to sustain till now. and i am still tired. rly not enough rest. and i realised, i don't have much time to rest also. i've got my HRM report to hand in on monday 7jan, ECD test on wednesday 9jan, ECD bazaar on 13jan [come support me! it's at bukit batok bus interchange!] HRM presentation on 15jan, and BLAW presentation in feb. oh. and i just remembered, i stil got 1 more ECD report to hand in after the bazaar!! ok. and abt 1 mth+ frm now, it's the EXAMS!!! gdness! -faints-

feeling rather rushed and tired la. cnt wait for ALL these to be over and then i can finally have my long awaited 2 mths holiday, where i can have a gd rest. hopefully, those 2 mths will also be spent purposefully and meaningfully. if possible, i hope i'll be able to find some volunteering work. have some idea in mind already. but we'll see how. haha. or maybe go on a mission trip too.

well, anyway, anyhow, it's all in God's hands la. i pray that He will grant me the sufficient strength and energy to last.. like what kahei said during thanksgiving, "Tough times don't last, God's grace does!" (: