what should i do? what should i do?? what should i do???

or maybe i shld say, where shld i choose to go...
well. not many pple know. cos i didn't want others to know yet. hee.
anyway. remember my prev. post i said smthg happen on friday. yeah.

my teacher asked me if im interested in going to Mexico for my overseas industrial training prog [OITP]. when she asked me, i was totally stunned. the details as to how come Mexico, is a long story. so anyway, i was quite confused as to whether i want to go to Mexico. cos i noe it is an opportunity that dnt come by that easily and it will be a good experience. But, there are still many factors that are holding me back, like the number one on the list - Safety!... arghhh. i dnt even noe if Mexico is safe anot. how? how?? howwww???!! so anyway, at the very moment, im still waiting for the guy, who is my connection to Mexico, to email me the details. and i may or may not get to go to Mexico. though it sounds more or less like im going .. well. i dnoe. ahhh. all the uncertainties is making me sooooo worriedddd!

so after talking and discussing and all that abt my Mexico thingy, with all the suggestions given, ive decided to ask Uncle Timothy [Yongjie] whether he will be able to provide me an attachment placing in his company. then he asked me, if he sends me to China, am i interested? Wah, at that moment, i was stunned too. then i said im fine with anything. so he will go back and see how he can help me. So. now, i might be able to go to China too.. well. of cos, the thing that im worried abt is also the big 'S' word - Safety...... -pulls hair-

or, if there happens to be no place for me for the mexico thing, then i might just stay in singapore. i dnt mind.. hahaha. oh, before i forget. my attachment is for 2 mths. from august to october. so yes, i might be away for that long, that is if im going overseas lar. ok, maybe nt long for some of you. but it is LONG for me. hahaha

ok. at first, i wasn't that keen on Mexico. the reasons. nvm. too many to repeat. that's why i thought if there is another option for me. so i asked uncle timothy. then i thought abt China. not bad also.. but there are also reasons that are holding me back. now, it seems like Mexico is not bad too. how. i dnt even noe if im going to go overseas. AND THE THING IS. THE DEADLINE FOR OITP IS THIS FRIDAY 13/7/2007!!

but after worrying so much abt the mexico and china thing, who knows, God might have planned for me to stay in Singapore for my ITP. which is fine by me too. cos maybe now is not the time to go overseas? who knows? God knows (:

im trying not to worry so much abt the attachment stuffs, and to trust in God. but, im still scared. but one thing that is encouraging is that, just now i was listening on my mp3 abt one of the sermon preached during the church retreat. and one part struck me. it's smthing about the Israelites walking in the wilderness for 40 years...

" .................. I am the same God. I took you out of Egypt. I was with you in the 40 years, wandering in the wilderness. I will take you into Canaan and conquer the land. I will help you to settle down. I am the same God. I am your God."

though probably in the context of the sermon, there might be another message that Rev. Albert Ting is trying convey. but, to say the truth i wasn't rly concentrating when listening cos my mind was partly thinking abt my OITP. and then i heard this part. and then i thought. how true. God brought the Israelites out of Egypt, and throughout the 40 yrs in the wilderness, He provided them with food and water .... that even when they are low on their faith and have their many insecurities, God is always there, He is the same God who brought them through.

it's a good reminder for me, to have that faith in God, to try and cast away my fears and trust in Him that He will lead me to where i should go. because He is the same God who brought the Israelites through everything, and He is my God who will bring me through and keep me safe, no matter where i am, mexico or china or singapore.

//edit. 11.52pm
ok. after posting the above, i thought for awhile .. and felt that my worries abt mexico and china might be a lil redundant cos. im still nt sure if i get to go to mexico, though the way it was put to me sounds like i can. but owell. and ive decided that if i cnt go to mexico. i think i'll just let the sch place me to some local company. as for china. well. i guess ive more or less decided not to go ... ok. i might change my mind in the end. and surprise everyone. haha .i dnoe. this sounds rly confusing rite. cos the thing is. im a lil confused myself too. there's toooo many of "if this happens, then i will ......., but then if ... then maybe i might ...., but then again, if ..... then i think i might ...." hahahhaha. too many what ifs alr. but well. will see how things result and then i'll have a clearer picture to make a decision.