just woke up. haha. ive been slping since 1.30pm ..quite long eh. i was rly rly super tired that i slpt very soundly. im someone who wakes up immediately when the alarm/handphone ring or when i hear someone calling my name. but tdy, i didn't even realise that my older bro came home and went out again and that my parents came back. haha. when i opened my eyes. it was 9pm alr. super tired.

i slept only at 5am in the morning and woke up at 6.30am cos ive to reach sch at 7am to finalise the project presentation which was at 8am. it's crazy. i cld feel my body screaming at me to rest cos my shoulders, neck and back was aching and i didn't have much energy left...besides that ive a headache cos i think i dnt have enough slp. i was so tired that if i cld, i wldn't even open my mouth to whisper. but no choice, presentation means have to open my mouth and talk. thank God the presentation was quite ok. after sch, i dragged my weary body home and slept all the way till now. haha.


been following the news abt the 23 Skoreans hostages in taliban. was quite shocked to hear the news. when i received an sms frm my tcher on tues ... i thought it was those kind of chain sms thing .. so i didn't rly tk notice.... untill i saw the email billy sent on tues night.

just read on the news tdy that the leader of the aid mission team, SKorean Presbyterian Pastor Bae Hyung-Kyu was killed. it's rly saddening. I think in times like this, one can only hold on to God and have an unwavering faith in Him and believe and trust in God that He has His reasons.

Please pray for the remaining 22 hostages. Pray that they will be released soon, that they will not be harmed. Pray for Pastor Bae Hyung-Kyu's family, that they will be strong and not lose faith.

i rly admire the faith that they have, cos i think that they noe that going out there may not be safe, but still they went...... there are many thoughts going through my mind... but i dnoe how to phrase it out... owell.

I AM this CLOSE TO SCREAMING RIGHT NOW.
SUPER FRUSTRATED AND TIRED THAT I CAN JUST CRY.
IM SO TIRED THAT I JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP.
AND HERE I AM, EDITING ALL YOUR SLIDES.
DON'T YOU EVEN CARE ABT THE PROJECT?!
the kind of attitude you give. everything also dnoe, dnt care!

>:(



i just hope the presentation goes well tmr.



back to the editing of slidesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
argh!!
ok. i need to cool down. or else the proj will nv be done.

exams are exactly 27 days away frm tdy. 17 Aug - 24 Aug /:
i've 4 more presentations to do - 3 presentations nxt wk and 1 presentation the following week.

so many things, so little time.
not enough slp.
)':

im tired.

happen to come across this quote...

God's decisions are always mysterious, but they're always in our favour.

God is amazing (:

when you learn how to trust in God and have faith in Him, you'll rly be amazed by God.

so, finally. the attachment stuff is settled. I will be attaching to the company that uncle timothy is working in. as for whether or not i'll be going to china. it depends lar. maybe i might, maybe i might not. but i guess it doesn't rly matter. cos at least i have an attachment now (:

it's a rly troublesome process. many things to settle and all that. and previously fretting over the overseas stuff. there are also times when i feel that the whole process is becoming rather tiring and i felt like taking the shortcut, which is to just forget abt the overseas thing and just let the sch place me to some company for attachment.

Seeing how my other classmates seem to get their attachment rather smoothly makes me feel kind of demoralized cos i will wonder how come it seems that i have so many things to consider and settle, while others seem to have their attachment so easily. but then, i guess there are lessons that God wants to teach me through this whole attachment thing. and one impt lesson that ive learnt is to have faith in Him.

and God is always amazing. Seeing how He has lead me thus far, im rly rly grateful.

even though i may nt be going overseas, which i initially hope to ... but. well, im nt complaining. cos i know that God has His plans for me in His own time. (:

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
- Hebrews 11:1

ok. i just received the email frm the person abt the mexico thingy. so, im not going to mexico anymore. reason being, 1. the boss of the company is not in singapore, so the person's dad who is working at that company cnt just make any decision and schedule smthg for me. 2. it's kind of last minute. haha.

so, to say the truth, haha, a relief washed over me when i saw the email, but there was a slight tinge of disappointment. cos, well, its a chance to go overseas mah. BUT!! hahaha. it's alright. cos, maybe there is not where God wants me to go... ? (:

anyway. the thing now is, China or Singapore?

HAHHAHAHAHAHA. though i think, my heart has an answer already. [quite obvious lar rte :P] But still, will see what God has planned for me (:

ok. i need to call my dad now.

what should i do? what should i do?? what should i do???

or maybe i shld say, where shld i choose to go...
well. not many pple know. cos i didn't want others to know yet. hee.
anyway. remember my prev. post i said smthg happen on friday. yeah.

my teacher asked me if im interested in going to Mexico for my overseas industrial training prog [OITP]. when she asked me, i was totally stunned. the details as to how come Mexico, is a long story. so anyway, i was quite confused as to whether i want to go to Mexico. cos i noe it is an opportunity that dnt come by that easily and it will be a good experience. But, there are still many factors that are holding me back, like the number one on the list - Safety!... arghhh. i dnt even noe if Mexico is safe anot. how? how?? howwww???!! so anyway, at the very moment, im still waiting for the guy, who is my connection to Mexico, to email me the details. and i may or may not get to go to Mexico. though it sounds more or less like im going .. well. i dnoe. ahhh. all the uncertainties is making me sooooo worriedddd!

so after talking and discussing and all that abt my Mexico thingy, with all the suggestions given, ive decided to ask Uncle Timothy [Yongjie] whether he will be able to provide me an attachment placing in his company. then he asked me, if he sends me to China, am i interested? Wah, at that moment, i was stunned too. then i said im fine with anything. so he will go back and see how he can help me. So. now, i might be able to go to China too.. well. of cos, the thing that im worried abt is also the big 'S' word - Safety...... -pulls hair-

or, if there happens to be no place for me for the mexico thing, then i might just stay in singapore. i dnt mind.. hahaha. oh, before i forget. my attachment is for 2 mths. from august to october. so yes, i might be away for that long, that is if im going overseas lar. ok, maybe nt long for some of you. but it is LONG for me. hahaha

ok. at first, i wasn't that keen on Mexico. the reasons. nvm. too many to repeat. that's why i thought if there is another option for me. so i asked uncle timothy. then i thought abt China. not bad also.. but there are also reasons that are holding me back. now, it seems like Mexico is not bad too. how. i dnt even noe if im going to go overseas. AND THE THING IS. THE DEADLINE FOR OITP IS THIS FRIDAY 13/7/2007!!

but after worrying so much abt the mexico and china thing, who knows, God might have planned for me to stay in Singapore for my ITP. which is fine by me too. cos maybe now is not the time to go overseas? who knows? God knows (:

im trying not to worry so much abt the attachment stuffs, and to trust in God. but, im still scared. but one thing that is encouraging is that, just now i was listening on my mp3 abt one of the sermon preached during the church retreat. and one part struck me. it's smthing about the Israelites walking in the wilderness for 40 years...

" .................. I am the same God. I took you out of Egypt. I was with you in the 40 years, wandering in the wilderness. I will take you into Canaan and conquer the land. I will help you to settle down. I am the same God. I am your God."

though probably in the context of the sermon, there might be another message that Rev. Albert Ting is trying convey. but, to say the truth i wasn't rly concentrating when listening cos my mind was partly thinking abt my OITP. and then i heard this part. and then i thought. how true. God brought the Israelites out of Egypt, and throughout the 40 yrs in the wilderness, He provided them with food and water .... that even when they are low on their faith and have their many insecurities, God is always there, He is the same God who brought them through.

it's a good reminder for me, to have that faith in God, to try and cast away my fears and trust in Him that He will lead me to where i should go. because He is the same God who brought the Israelites through everything, and He is my God who will bring me through and keep me safe, no matter where i am, mexico or china or singapore.

//edit. 11.52pm
ok. after posting the above, i thought for awhile .. and felt that my worries abt mexico and china might be a lil redundant cos. im still nt sure if i get to go to mexico, though the way it was put to me sounds like i can. but owell. and ive decided that if i cnt go to mexico. i think i'll just let the sch place me to some local company. as for china. well. i guess ive more or less decided not to go ... ok. i might change my mind in the end. and surprise everyone. haha .i dnoe. this sounds rly confusing rite. cos the thing is. im a lil confused myself too. there's toooo many of "if this happens, then i will ......., but then if ... then maybe i might ...., but then again, if ..... then i think i might ...." hahahhaha. too many what ifs alr. but well. will see how things result and then i'll have a clearer picture to make a decision.

finally, my IEF project is completed. it's been a rly rly tiring week due to all the late nights throughout the whole 2 wks. im exhausted, but glad that the IEF project is over. one less project to worry about now ...

ytd, friday, is a .... surprising/shocking day i guess. i dnt even noe what shld i do, kind of like at crossroads now... but not for long i know .. haa. well, im leaving it in God's hands cos i know that He will plan the best road for me (: thank God that i know who i can find whenever im in need ... it always feel better after sharing. haha