well. the first week at sch has alr passed. so far sch`s still fine. though it still kinda feels like a holiday mood to me. cos it`s like going to sch for abt 1 to 3 hrs at most. and it`s usually in the afternoon like at 1pm. so it feels kinda weird. like most pple are going home and then you`re going to sch. but from next week onwards. the real stuff is gonna happen. when tutorials start and projects are already coming up. so i guess things are gonna get busy quite soon. heh. now i kinda miss the more systemic kind of sch life in sec. sch. cos u noe that tchers are always there to help you. and like they`ll push you to improve and all. but in poly it`s a whole new diff. case. ive got to learn to be more independent now (:

tdy i went to sch from 8am t 12pm. had my interdisciplinary studies : sports&wellness and CATS [creative and applied thinking skills]. for sports and wellness we had to choose a sport that we have to take as a module for 10 to 12 weeks. so we had only a few to choose from. netball, touch rugby, fencing, dancesport which u get to learn salsa cha-cha etc .. , soccer, hockey, tennis etc ... so i was like thinking wat to join. because i dn want to make a wrong choice and like hate it la. cos we must have 80% attendance and. you must pass this sports&wellness module. because if u fail for it more than once, you`re liable to be dismiss from the polytechnic. and it has happened b4 last year i think. so i was like freaked out la. then after looking through all the choices, i decided to join fencing (: cos it seemed to be a very new sport to me. and i was a lil interested at first. so there. hope fencing will turn out good (:

anyway. tonite gotta go to church for a church-wide annual meeting. heh. my first time going. wonder wat it's like. gotta go get my tutorials done now. next week tutorials start!! wonder wat my class is going to be like.

ytd`s speech day was nt bad. heh (: took lots of photos with my tchers and frens (: hee. i miss them all so so much!! let`s see. i took photo with ms tan, ms lim, ms chen, mrs chua, mrs ali, mdm yehidaah, mrs oon, mrs oon`s daughter trina, ms low, mrs sam. heh (:

and of cos my frens. took lots of photos with them too. but it`s a pity junhan didn`t come. if not we`ll all have even more fun (:

the first tcher i took photo with Mrs Chua (: she very funny ah. she was like saying to the boys " wait wait. take with my girls first." heh. and the boys had to help us tk photo (: haa!

then next was Ms Chen (: den we went to the container rm with ms chen to hear a student practice for the piano performance later. after awhile me and kaibin went out to find Ms Tan wenyi and took photo with her as well. den as me and kaibin were walking back, we saw mrs ali. haha. miss her so much.

after that went out for dinner with yanting and wen si. i`m glad i went for the speech day. seeing all my tchers and frens make it feel worthwhile. the next time i go back will be tchers` day. till then (:

tdy`s the big day! I`m baptised already! on Easter Sunday (: haa. i`ll nv forget tdy 16th April (: haa. me and yuexing were so nervous la. that at the back stage we kept doing silly stuff. yuexing was like dancing?? and i`m like trying to strangle her to stop her. and Wu Shimu and the aunties that are helping out at the back are laughing at us la. but we`re like really nervous and excited la. haa :D

then soon it was our turn. yuexing was before me. and den it was my turn. the moment i started walking down the stairs. my mind was blank already. then i just stood there. then when i looked up. whoa. so many pple la. then i kept staring at the microphone. haa. and then after Mu Shi asked the qns and i said in chinese "wo yuan yi" and then i got baptised!! (: haa. and water went into my nose. hehe :P

den me and yuexing hurriedly went to the first flr toilet to wash up. haa. i think we took quite long la heh :P after service. we had photo talking session. and there were like so many cameras. so all of us were like smiling continously for a long time. untill our mouths were tired. den after that we took photos and many of them came to congratulate us. and soon i was hurrying of for lunch with my relatives.

i`m very touched by my parents la. cos to like celebrate my baptism, we went to a chinese restauraunt at keppel club. and we booked 3 tables for my relatives and my family. and then we had this 6-course lunch which was very good. though not all my relatives turned up at church for my baptism, but most of those who cld make it came. those who cld not come was becos they were on a short hol on cruise. but they managed to come to the restauraunt and they`re like " esther, congratulations", shaking my hands, hugging me and all. i`m really really blessed to be so loved by my parents and relatives. tdy is indeed a very memorable day for me. haa (:

i`m like wanting to smile and cry. i want to smile cos i`m really happy that i got baptised and my relatives , of which most of them aren`t christians yet, are able to come and witness my baptism and i really hope that thro this they will gradually come to know more abt the Lord, and then eventually come to believe in Him. and i want to cry is becos i really feel very very touched by the love showered upon me by my parents and relatives (: and of cos not forgetting my brothersand sisters in christ. for your congratulations and presents and hugs and handshakes and words of encouragement. thank you all (:

and of cos, the utmost thanks wld be to God, my Saviour. i wld not have come thus far without Him. for it is Him who is always there for me and guiding me thro all the ups and downs of these 17 years of my life and counting (: Thank You so much, Father.

Jesus Shall Take The Highest Honour

Jesus shall take the highest honour
Jesus shall take the highest praise
Let all earth join heaven in exalting
The Name which is above all other names

Let's bow the knee in humble adoration
For at His name every knee must bow
Let every tongue confess He is Christ, God's only Son
Sovereign Lord, we give You glory now

For all honour and blessing and power
Belongs to You, belongs to You
All honour and blessing and power
Belongs to You, belongs to You
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God

ytd i just borrowed another Jodi Picoult`s book from the library called "Keeping Faith". i think that this is really a good book. kinda like teaching me smthg.

Keeping Faith
Somewhere between belief and doubt lies faith. For the second time in her marriage, Mariah White catches her husband with another woman and Faith, their seven year old daughter, witnesses every painful minute. In the aftermath of a sudden divorce, Mariah struggles with depression and Faith seeks solace in a new friend ... a friend who may or may not be imaginary.

Faith talks to her "Guard"constantly; begins to recite passages from the Bible -- a book she's never read. Fearful for her daughter's sanity, Mariah sends her to several psychiatrists. Yet when Faith develops stigmata and begins to perform miraculous healings, Mariah wonders if her daughter-- a girl with no religious background-- might indeed be seeing God. As word spreads and controversy heightens, Mariah and Faith are besieged by believers and disbelievers alike, caught in a media circus that threatens what little stability they have left.

What are you willing to believe? Is Faith a prophet or a troubled little girl? Is Mariah a good mother facing an impossible crisis -- or a charlatan using her daughter to reclaim the attention her unfaithful husband withheld? As the story builds to a climactic battle for custody, Mariah must discover that spirit is not necessarily something that comes from religion, but from inside oneself.

Fascinating, thoughtful, and suspenseful, Keeping Faith explores a family plagued by the media, the medical profession, and organized religion in a world where everyone has an opinion but no one knows the truth.

At her controversial and compelling best, Jodi Picoult masterfully explores the moment when boundaries break down, when illusions become reality, and when the only step left to take is a leap of faith.


yup so that`s wat the book is abt. and after reading it. it makes me think abt wat i learnt in sunday sch la.

that God is really there. and you just got to believe even when it seems impossible. because smtimes smthgs are beyond wat our mind can logically accept. like wat the book says. you`ve gotta take that leap of faith and believe.

reading this book is a good reminder for me. that i shld hold on to my faith and believe. cos smtimes i still do have qns abt my own religion. but then i came to learnt. that one just gotta believe (:

i guess maybe this is God`s way of answering all my doubts (:

okae. so much for my thoughts.hee (:

16th april. a very significant date in my life. the day that i am going to get baptised (:i`m glad i made my decision. and it is definitely without regrets (:

ever since i was born, i was going to church already. i grew up in church. listening to the bible stories every sunday, singing songs and praising the Lord.

and then as i contd to grow older. i looked forward to coming to church. as it is in church, when im with my frens that i grow up tgther with in church since young, with the aunties and uncles that i noe, with my pastors that i noe since young, with my family there, it is in church where i feel most comfortable and at ease.

i look forward to the worship every sunday. when everyone of us will come together and sing to praise the Lord. singing the songs and hymns makes me feel calm everytime.

when i was in sec 4 last yr, 2005. mabbe it was because of the pressure of the O levels. i started to feel very very lost. i wld be like walking home and then suddenly i`ll like start asking myself, "what am i doing here? what am i doing? why am i here?" you noe. like suddenly smthg in ur mind snapped and then u "wake up" or smthg.

my temper started to become realli realli very bad. i`ll like throw tantrums and raise my voice at my parents for no reasons at all. like the other time. i was abt to go home from fellowship. and then my dad came to pick my brother from fellowship to go out for dinner. and i told him i din want to go. cos i wanted to go home to study. and then my mum was like "go for awhile and den go home and study la. cos need to have dinner ma." then i dnoe what came over me and i just snapped at her. being very rude to her and did not give her face in front of her frens too. after that they left. while i made my way home.

as i was walking to the mrt, i was like scolding myself. "what`s wrong with me? why am i so rude? why am i angry at my mum for? i really deserve a big whack. why am i like that?" i kept scolding myself over and over again. getting real angry at my ownself.

there were many times at night when everyone else is slping already. i`ll still be wide awake. why? because i was crying. i dnoe what im crying over for. many reasons. becos im scared. becos im worried. becos i felt lost. etc .. next day when i go to sch i`ll be like so tired. ther were time when i cried in sch too cos i was very scared of the Os.

and then the Big O came. and as fast as it came, it went too. after the exams. i was so relieved. and then i went on holiday with my frens and family.

after that this yr. Feb 10. got back our results. i got 17 pts. i was glad. very happy. No. glad. Yes. becos i told myself that as long as i got 17 pts and below i`ll be glad. and God gave me wat is enough. getting a result that is just nice for me to be happy and not get overly proud and arrogant of.

at night becos there was a combine family cell grp thing at a karaoke place, me and yuexing got to meet up there and then we`re just talking abt getting the results and everything. we talked abt how God brought us through it. and so on.

at night when i went home. i started to think back. i found that everytime i felt lost and helpless and angry, i thought that God was not there for me. that how come He did not help me.

but then. thinking back, God was always there for me, just that i did not realised it. everytime i was lost, or when i felt scared or worried, or i was angry, just so naturally, songs and hymns that i sang before during worship or fellowsip wld just come into my mind. and then as the song or hymn contd to play in my mind, i wld slowly feel calm and peaceful.

or smtimes. as the song or hymn contd to play in my mind, my tears wld just flow. to let all my emotions out. and den after that i`ll feel better.

smtimes. during worship on sunday. when we`re singing the songs and hymns. i wld feel that the song or hymn is like speaking to my heart. telling me an answer to a qns i have.

and as i recall, i realised that God was always there to help me, to calm me down, to give me peace, in His own special way. Through songs and hymns.

so after recalling everthing. i felt that it was time that i shld realli commit myself to God. To give my all unto Him. and that`s why i decide to get baptised. so this is what i have to share with everyone. hee (: just song to share with everyone (:

Lord, I Offer You My Life
All that i am, All that i have
I lay them down before You, O Lord
All my regrets, All my acclaims,
The joy and the pain,
I`m making them Yours

Lord, I offer my life to You
Everything i`ve been through
Use it for Your glory

Lord, I offer my praise to You
Lifting my praise to You,
As a living sacrifice
Lord, I offer You my life

Thing in the past, Things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands
Are lifted to You

Lord, I offer my life to You
Everything i`ve been through
Use it for Your glory

Lord, I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a living sacrifice
Lord, I offer You my life